Jokes

[Surt]

as for the translation i cant see any errors maybe cept using past perfect tense instead past simple tense bwahaha! at least i translated the jokes by myself and not just copied and pasted them

[Shadowzone]

It wasn't a dig at your translation Surt. More at our varying sense of humours. I know who Sherlock and Watson are, just couldn't get the joke. I'm missing something. Not to worry. onward we go my friend.

[Surt]

never ever noticed any varying in humour my friend, not in english or chinese or zulu jokes actually its a junkie joke if u ever smoke that shit u can get it: when doped a person percieves every obvious thing in a new funny light... on the other hand, d'u know the name of doctor watson? i don't!

[Redmohawk]

John H Watson

[Surt]

googlin hey! wat H stands for? Hedda, Hezra, Hobart, Humbert, Howie, Huckleberry? lol

[Nudie]

That would be Headjob, if the rumours are true!

[Redmohawk]

yep, if its on the net it must be true lol

[Surt]

hahaha yup i heard a lot of jokes about his inclinations as well heres another one:

Sherlock Holmes smoked the smoking pipe too much, and dr J.H.Watson wanted to disaccustom him from that harmful habit, so once when mr holmes was away, he took his pipe and shoved it into his arse several times, then put it back. when Sherlock Holmes returned, he smoked the pipe with usual pleasure... Doctor Watson played that trick again and again, but Sherlock Holmes didn't quit smoking... but Doctor Watson got accustomed to the pipe!

[StuNVA]

Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Coopers Pale Ale.

Barman asks, "What's wrong with Coopers Pale Ale"?
Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Coopers Pale Ale last night, and when I came round, I was fucking skint

Barman says, "12 pints of any Beer, costs about the same amount, these days."?

Bloke replies, "Skint's my dog!"

[StuNVA]

Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.
From the local paper comes this story of a Brisbane couple who drove their car to ALDI, only to have their car break down in the car park.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis.

Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones..

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.

On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by watching.

The RACQ mechanic however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

[Swordsy]

Russell, the poofter, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says, 'Russell, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS.'

Russell is devastated. 'Doc, what can I do? '

"Eat:
1 curry sausage,
1 head of Cabbage,
20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce,
10 Jalapeno Peppers,
40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,
1/2 box Of All Bran,

And top it off with a litre of prune juice."

Russell asks bewildered, 'Will that cure me, Doc?'

Doc says, 'No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ARSE is for.'

[latheboy]

Clever Flight Attendant

A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Air New Zealand from Auckland to Sydney.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,
'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant

So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant,' If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"

The boy said, "Yes, she did.
"Well, then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Air New Zealand always pulls out on time. And ask her explain that to you."

[JDinOZ]

hahaha crack up

[Iceman]

I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...but she did.

[BANDITROD]

Bwahahahaha you touched it didn't you

[Iceman]

Best Out of Office Automatic e-mails Replies

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail
to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood.


2. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office.
If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed
so I can be promoted to our management team.


4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.


5. Thank you for your email.
Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each
additional word in your message.


6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over
and over....)


7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.


8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me.
Please wait by your PC for my response.


9. I've run away to join a different circus.


10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve

[OLD SKOOL BANDIT]

Gonna use at least two of those next time I travel.

[Tony Nitrous]

Black guy walk's in a bar with a parot on his shoulder.

"wow" says the barman, "where did you get that?"

"Africa" says the parrot, "Theres f*cking million's of them!"

[Large]

How does a black lady know she's pregnant? She takes out the tampon and all the cotton is picked off.

How does a black lady know she's pregnant? She sticks a banana up her cunt and pulls it out; if there's a bite missing then another monkey's on the way.

What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps could finish a race.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew? Santa goes down the chimney.

What's the most effective pickup line you know? Don't make me turn this rape into murder.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.

Why did Princess Di cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.





http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/hjyzr/hey_reddit_what_is_the_most_jaw_droppingly/

[Tony Nitrous]

A guy is sitting looking a bit down, his mate asks whats wrong?

he replies that the doc told him he has "the big C".

what! cancer askes his mate?

no dyslexia.

[Dynomutt]

Hey less of the jewish jokes please large, my grandfather died in Belsen............................................ .........................He got pissed up one night and fell out of his watch tower.:D

What's blue and doesn't fit?
A dead epileptic

Sign seen outside an abortion clinic

You rape 'em, we scrape 'em
No fetus can beat us!

I got a new job at the hospital fitting wheels on miscarriages

How many coons does it take to wallpaper a room?
Just two if you slice them thin enough

[nick76]

A woman says to her husband, "You only ever want to have sex when you're pissed!"
Bloke says, "That's not true..........sometimes i want a Kebab!!!"

[Large]

What did Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both had a ten year old crack addiction.

[Shadowzone]

Officials have said Amy winehouse's ashes have been valued at $180 per gram

[hotmilk]

Apparently Amy Winehouse isn't dead.
Forensics started to draw a line around the body at the scene and she jumped up and tried to snort it

[BANDITROD]

To Be 8 again!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was
looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror ..

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.
Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M's.
What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you f@*#*! retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

[wackyrider]

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because
some Spanish dirt bags invaded our country and we got a little busy OK?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b*tch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You
piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Justin Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just
saying...
Sincerely,
Google

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF
happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea...Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain...no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely,
Al Gore

Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was
here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper

[Tony Nitrous]

UK riots ?

In the Brixton riot last night 2 Irishmen
broke into ladbrokes and lost £50....:D

[Tony Nitrous]

Poor little Ngongo Mwambi has to travel 5 miles every day for fresh water,
7 miles for food and 10 miles for medicine for him and his family.

This is because the daft c*nt and his mates torched
Peckham Spar, Tottenham KFC and Hackney medical centre
and now has to walk to Croydon for breakfast.

[Tony Nitrous]

I wanted to watch the news last night,
has Michael Caine died?

....because all I could find on TV last night was reruns of Zulu.

[Fight_fan]

quote:Originally posted by Tony Nitrous

I wanted to watch the news last night,
has Michael Caine died?

....because all I could find on TV last night was reruns of Zulu.




Hahahaha Thats fuckin gr8!

[Tony Nitrous]

Apparently Rupert Murdoch is very touched by all the
messages of condolence on Amy Winehouse's phone !!

[MuZ]

had to take my blow up doll back to the store this arvo. the fucking thing started to develop feelings or some shit and started crying... turns out it just needed to be emptied.

[Gix11]

More UK Riot Gags:

Haloumi Kebabs in a lemon basil and garlic marinade, roasted mediterranian vegatable and feta salad with couscous, amorello cherry and almond cream terrine….
I’m not just any looter I’m an M&S Looter
—
After rioters loot Carpet Right..Police say Tottenham now has Rug dealers on every street corner..
—
?�Yeah man, we is ,living in such poverty, i is going to go out and riot and ting cos i is so disadvantaged and opressed�
Via Facebook for iPhone
—
I wish I was poor enough to have a Blackberry to organise a riot!
—
The rioters broke into Highbury police station and stole all the toilets.
Police have nothing to go on.
—
A Police station in Huddersfield got broken into last night and looters stole all of their Satnavs.
Police are now looking for Leeds
—
Fucking scrotes and chavs, destroying our community and giving our country a bad name for no reason!
And all this on my birthday too! Makes me sick!
On a brighter note, id like to take this opportunity to thank my uncle terrell for the 42″ plasma and new pair of trainers. Being on minimum wage, i cant imagine how hard you had to work to be able to afford all that for me. If only these other chavs would follow your example.
—
Manchester police say the looters are not from Manchester.
Hmm, they must be United fans then?
—
I am guessing all the starving Africans won’t give up their £2 a week to help rebuild Britain?
—
Three nights with no riots in any Scottish cities.
Conclusive proof that Glaswegians don’t watch the news.
—
Following the recent riots across the cities in England… the French have surrendered.
—
I was watching the news with my girlfriend last night. “It looks like the Kaiser Chiefs were right.� I said.
“Yeah, very funny,� she replied. “I Predict A Riot.�
I said, “No… Everyday I Love You Less And Less.�
—
During last night’s riots, Paddy and Murphy broke into Ladbrokes and lost £50
—
Been out in the riots tonight, best night I’ve had in ages. Just need to clean all the blood off my baton and shield now.
—
Why would anyone want to ruin their own country ?
Oh yeah its London, and none of them are in their own country!
—
After the riots and looting in Tottenham, Boots did a stock take in their local store….
All that remained was fake tan.
—
To be fair I wish everyone would stop stereotyping all of the rioters as niggers. I definitely saw at least one white person on the news and he was just as bad as the rest of them.
He was nearest to the camera and had stolen a Sky News microphone.
—
Six shots fired in London, all missed.
Police are looking to question Fernando Torres.
—
Unfortunately for the chavs and niggers, you can’t steal gcse’s…
—
I’d like to congratulate the rioters on making us even more racist. Well done.
—
I saw a black guy carrying a TV down the street yesterday so I smashed him over the head with a shovel.
I’d just like to take this opportunity to apologise to Argos and wish their delivery driver a speedy recovery.
—
Bad news, the rioting has spread to Ireland.
Poor Paddy has just smashed his laptop screen, after trying to loot ebay.
—
Sky News: Police to use Plastic Bullets.
Fuck me, the Recession has hit us harder than I thought.
—
These rioting niggers are a fucking disgrace. Where are their parents when they’re out on the streets causing mayhem?
Oh yeah, in jail.
—
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman …
… had nothing to do with the London riots.
—
Can we make sure the “Before� and “After� riot pictures of Croydon are clearly labelled, as it’s confusing to tell which is which?
—
?1527 thieving rioting looters shot dead by the Army, many in the back of the head. Over 1000 in hospital with cracked skulls due to baton use by the police. Hundreds of scrotes torn apart by police dogs. The Army are moving in to finish rioters off in affected areas with bayonets, to save tax payers money on bullets. Carlsberg doesn’t do headlines but if they did…..
—
Police are using water cannons in London tonight with a touch of persil to stop the coloureds from running.
—
Just seen the manager of PC World on the news ranting on about how the thieving black bastards that plundered his store, should have their fucking hands chopped off, or be hung by their dicks from the nearest tree!
Wow! I thought. Now there is a guy who really needs to change the name of his shop.
—
Just heard that the Met Police are going to be releasing CCTV footage of all the looting in Tottenham.
Can’t wait to see it in high definition on my new 70″ plasma TV…
—
I wonder how many black policemen are praying that all the good stuff isn’t gone before their day off?
—
Why are all these people in London behaving like they’re from third world countries?
oh wait a minute……….
—
London joins Amy Winehouse and Norway in the growing list of victims of Rupert Murdoch’s “Operation Distraction�.
—
3D home entertainment isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Once you get it all set up, you’ll realise that you forgot to rob the glasses.
—
I wonder if the first thing David Cameron says to Nick Clegg after coming back early from his holiday is �I leave you alone for two fucking minutes!!…�
—
Gavin from AutoGlass has a right job on his hands now.
—
If these riots go on any longer then Libya will be reclassified as a peaceful protest…
—
So Cameron wants to stop these riots?
I’ve heard that the Taliban, Iraq and Libya had a pretty efficient way of quelling them – why don’t we ask them?
—
Apparently all this rioting is just a side show to hide the news that Britain has now got a woman in charge of parking a battleship!
—
News: “Government condemns riots and looting�
Well done government – that’ll sort things out, big style!
—
The Kaiser Chiefs must be feeling pretty fucking smug right now.
—
Giving Eastenders a miss tonight, bbc news channel is the same but live!
—
Following the riots and looting in Tottenham a large number of Scousers will now not travel down for Saturdays Spurs v Everton premiership game,due to fears that all the best stuff has already been stolen.
—
I said to my mate “We’re in the middle of a huge recession, we’ve got Noel Edmonds on TV and we’ve got rioting on the streets of London. It’s like being back in the 80′s�
He said “Yeah, what’s next, Liverpool win the league?�
Oh how we both laughed.
—
Say what you like about the Tottenham rioters but at least they made Ross Kemp fuck off from London for a few days.
—
I don’t blame those Blacks in north London for going on a looting rampage….
How else are they supposed to make a living now Amy Winehouse isn’t buying skag anymore ?.
—
My son just said to me, “Look at all those policemen on the news just standing there, letting the niggers do whatever they want.�
“Now son, I’ve told you before: you can’t say that word anymore, it’s not politically correct.�
“Sorry Dad, I meant police officers.�
Good lad.
—
My racist jokes are getting a lot of dislikes today,
It’s almost like 100′s of blacks have all just got a new laptop or something,
—
Aaron Lennon takes it on his chest and brings it down, passes it to Bassong who runs with it before laying it off to Huddlestone, Defoe spots a window and makes a run, Huddlestone sees him and makes the pass and Defoe puts it away nicely.
“Right lads,� says Palacios, “let’s get one more Plasma before the police get here.�
—
Niggers running everywhere, throwing things, complete waste of taxpayers money.
And I thought the Olympics was next year?
—
Say what you like about North Londoners, but their efforts in doing the place up in order to make the Man City & Man United fans feel at home for the Charity Shield match today is wholly admirable.
—
Inner City riots, King Kenny at Liverpool and a Tory Goverment making massive cuts..All we need now is The Specials at Number 1 for true 80′s revival.
—
London police have released CCTV footage of the youths involved in the riots in Tottenham last night.
Anyone that recognises any of the teeth should call Crimestoppers immediately.
—
Following the riots in Tottenham I think its important to remind ourselves that not all black people are stereotypical thieves and arsonists.
The vast majority are in fact drug dealers and rapists.
—
I’m thinking about going to Tottenham/Enfield tomorrow to get a new tv but I can’t make my mind up where to buy it from.
The Red Lion or The Fox and Hounds?
—
I see a couple of Police cars were wrecked during last nights riots in Tottenham.
Rather short-sighted of the black community, ruining 2 of their methods of public transport like that.
—
An Aldi store was devastated by fire last night.
A spokesmen for the store said the extent of the damage could run into tens of pounds.
—
The safest place to be in Tottenham this morning, is in the Spurs trophy cabinet.
There’s no chance of looters visiting there.
—
When I saw all those niggers rioting on Tottenham high street I knew I had to find somewhere safe to hide where they wouldn’t go.
I’m still stuck in the job centre.

[Tony Nitrous]

I was in ecstasy, with a smile on my face,
as my wife moved forwards then backwards.......
forwards then backwards.....back and forth.......
back and forth.....in and out....in and out.
Her heart beating faster and faster,
her face flushed she began to grunt and groan..........
She then lets out one almighty scream!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"I can't park this fucking car, you do it you smug bastard!!!!!!"

[Tony Nitrous]

I asked a bloke what he did for work,
he said "a development Technician for Harley Davidson
but they havent been called into work since 1903 !"

[Shadowzone]

I guess its not all bad news for the ALP. Unlike the rest of their members, at least one of them CAN organise a root in a brothel...

[Ansen]

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.

He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.

He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.

'They're mating,' her father replied.

'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.

'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.

'So, the other one is a Mummy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute
And innocent question he replied,
'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'

'The little girl, looking a little puzzled,
Thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stamped them flat...

'Well, we're not having any of that poofta shit in our garden' she said.

[Bastard]

Hassan and Habib are beggars.

They beg in different areas of Sydney.

Habib begs just as long as Hassan but only collects $2 to $3 every day.

Hassan brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Habib says to Hassan, 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 notes every day?'

Hassan says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say ?'

Habib's sign reads; 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.

Hassan says, 'No wonder you only get $2- $3 !'

Habib says... 'So what does your sign say ?'

Hassan shows Habib his sign....

It reads: 'I only need another $10 to move back to Pakistan.'

[Ansen]

Sitting together on a train travelling through the Swiss Alps, were a Kiwi guy, an Australian bloke, a little old Greek lady, and a young blonde Swiss girl with large breasts.

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Kiwi has a bright red hand print on his cheek.

No one speaks.

The old lady thinks:
The Kiwi guy must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.

The blonde Swiss girl thinks:
That Kiwi guy must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek..

The Kiwi thinks:
The Aussie bloke must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

The Aussie thinks:
I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can smack that F*** ing Kiwi again.

[Fish]

quote:Originally posted by ansen


The Aussie thinks:
I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can smack that F*** ing Kiwi again.


Fucking brilliant!!:D:D

[Large]

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says,

"Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck.

"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that,"
Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.

What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road,"
Explains the duck.

"I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants To learn
more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his
bag and proceeds to read it.
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids
the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks..

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him
"You're with the circus, aren't you?

Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He
talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and
everything!"

"Sounds marvellous,"
Says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.

"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,

"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really
good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job,"
Says the duck.

"Where is it?"

"At the circus,"
Says the barman.

"The circus?"
Repeats the duck.

"That's right,"
Replies the barman.

"The circus?"
The duck asks again.
With the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who Live in
caravans?" says the duck.

Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the
middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . ...







"What the Fuck would they want with a plasterer??!"

[latheboy]

I walked into the pub toilet earlier, spotted a bloke at the urinals, and made my way to the cubicle.

Bloke laughed and said, "Embarrassed about your penis, hey, lad?"

A bit embarrassed, I said; "Of course not!" And made my way over to the urinal next to him.

What a hypocrite, he sure seemed embarrassed watching me take a shit.

[latheboy]

The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.

I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex.

It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, “I wanna watch.”

[RevHead]

old fella goes into a chemist were he asks for 2x viagra cut into 1/4,s the chemist say that wont do much ,,,old man replies ,,at least i wont piss on my feet in the morning

[Large]

I wanted to work for Apple, so I gave them a call. The lady on the phone told me they had no more jobs.

[Chase]

quote:Originally posted by Large

I wanted to work for Apple, so I gave them a call. The lady on the phone told me they had no more jobs.
.. and you're a moderator.. tsk tsk

[Iceman]

I don't understand

[Yella]

My new abo neighbour popped his head over the fence today and said, “Hey bro, what’s going down?” I said, “The value of my fucking house you black prick!”
One week later he pops his head over the fence again and says, “I want you to kill my wife for me, I’ll pay you $10,000.” I accept, telling him all it will take is one bullet, just below the left tit.
He looks at me and says, “I want her dead – not f*cking knee-capped!”
__________________________________________________ __

I found my dyslexic mate covering his dick with boot polish on the early hours of Sunday morning at the conclusion of daylight saving.. I said, “You idiot! You’re supposed to turn you clock back!”
__________________________________________________ __

Pauline Hanson called a pest controller to her fish and chip shop to get rid of a plague of rats. After speaking to her, he pulled out a flute and started to play. The rats followed him down to the river and drowned. “That’s f*cking brilliant!” said Pauline, “Can you play the didgeridoo?”

Recession beater. Wife says to husband, “If you cycle to work, we can get rid of the second car.” He replies, “If you take it up the arse and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!”
__________________________________________________ __
What’s the difference between a refugee and ET?
ET looked better, smelled better, learnt English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own f*cking bike and wanted to go home!
__________________________________________________ __

Got this text from my brother recently. It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while? My missus kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock. It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!”

Was shagging this bird over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!” Thinking back, I really should have legged it – but you don’t get offers like that every day.
__________________________________________________ __

God visits a man and tells him he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into Heaven. The man says he’ll try. God visits him a week later to see how he’s getting on. “Not bad” says the man, “I’ve given up drinking and smoking, but when the wife bent over the freezer, I had to fuck her up the arse.” “They don’t like that sort of thing in Heaven” said God. The man replied, “They’re not too f*cking happy about it in Woolworths either!
__________________________________________________ __

Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the f*ck out of this bloke at a party. In my defence….. when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.
__________________________________________________ __

Why are aspirins white? Because they work.

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I rooted a sheila called Penny – spooky or what?

[Tony Nitrous]

:D




"When the Mrs left I was sad, upset and lonely...

Since then I've got a dog, bought a new bike, shagged 2 women
and blown a grand on hard drink and cocaine....

She'll go fackin' mental when she gets home from work"

[Tony Nitrous]

I phoned the police the other day.

"What's your emergency?" they asked.

"2 girls are fighting over me" I replied.

"OK" she paused. Well! what's the problem?"

"The fat ones winning"

[Harry]

My grandad said it's going to be a nightmare this year with all the flu out breaks getting around. . . . . I said tell me some thing i dont know !. . . . Ok he said, "your granny's ass can take my hole fist ! "

[Ansen]

nice 1 lol

[Harry]

My teenage son just told me that he just fucked the young girl that live's next door,i said good one mate but i hope your worn some thing. . . He said yes dad,a balaclaver

[Harry]

My ex wife could manipulate her pussy muscle's so wen i fucked her it felt like a blow job which was ironic because wen she manipulated her mouth muscles she sounded like a cunt !

[Harry]

Little john'y was rushed to hospital today with 7 plastic toy horse's stuck up his ass. . . Doctor's decribed his condition as stable.

[Tony Nitrous]

I just got a lottery ticket to win a Mediterranean cruise.




Last weeks was a rollover!

[nick76]

It didnt take long.....here's a few Whitney Houston ones.....

Nintendo are releasing a new game based on the lives of Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston. It's called WiiHab.

There was an announcement today that Whitney Houston is set to star in a re-make of the popular film "The Bodyguard” titled, "The Bodybag".

Whitney Houston apparently discovered that there IS a mountain high enough.

Tired of rehashing other people's pop songs, Whitney Houston started a new career as a soul artist.

I hear that Bobby Brown is all CRACKED up.

What was Whitney Houston’s biggest hit?
Her last one.

What's the difference between Whitney Houston and my piece of junk car?
At least my car can hit 50.

Whitney Houston died just hours after being asked to be a judge on the next season of X-Factor.
Personally, I think that she made the right decision.

News of Whitney Houston's death travelled with such speed. When I heard I couldn't help but crack up with emotion. She was a real heroin. It's such a blow. She really made a hash of things though. Her life just went to pot. Someone should have kept tabs on her.

Today drug cartels will be hanging their Mexican flags at half mast R.I.P. Whitney
Bobby Brown was spotted at a sports store this morning - he was buying a punching bag because his old one is dead

What’s pink and sits on the door mat?
Whitney Houston’s Valentine’s cards

Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston?
About 204 days.

What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse?
If you get a move on, Whitney is still warm

Whitney Houston – She took more shots in her arm than a Norwegian youth camp.
First Amy Winehouse, now Whitney Houston. Columbia has a tough financial year ahead.

What do Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston have in common?
Apparently most of these jokes.

Whitney Houston: more hits than Elvis.

There's going to be a huge line outside Whitney Huston’s funeral next week... Which, coincidentally, is what killed her.

[StuNVA]

What's 6" long, and didn't get sucked on Valentine's Day?

Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

[Snaffler]

im at the lights and this black african pulls up next to me in a BMW and his reving up his engine and looks at me and gives me the nod and then says "RACE"

i lean out the window and scream "IM FUCKEN AUSSIE YOU BLACK CUNT AND PROUD TO BE" then floor it and still beat him off the lights..

[Tony Nitrous]

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.
The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Julia Gillard's clock?" asked the man.
" Julia's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

[nick76]

After being married for thirty years, a wife
asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while ... then said,
"You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful,
Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so
lovely ... What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"


The swelling in his eye is going down and the
doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

[Tony Nitrous]

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose.

'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see.'

'That's perfectly all right,' replied the snake. 'To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?'

'Well, I really don't know,' said the bunny.. 'I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.'

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, 'Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!'

The bunny said, 'I can't thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?'

The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, 'Well, what kind of an animal am I?'

The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, 'You're cold, you're slippery, you've got a small pointed head and you have no balls...You must be a LABOR POLITICIAN'

[K6Thou]

Whats the worst thing about being a jewish nigger ???





You have to sit in the back of the oven.

[El_Hefty]

I've just heard on the radio that the leader of the Monkees has died,

R.I.P. Nelson Mandela.



My doctor was checking my balls for any lumps the other day.

It got awkward when I ran my fingers through his hair.




My wife's leaving me because I'm so arrogant.

I told her to close the door on her way back in.

[MONO]

A man in rural Wisconsin wakes up one morning to find a bear on his
roof. So he looks in the yellow pages, and sure enough, there's an ad
for
"Up North Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover
says, He'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets
out of
His van . He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12-gauge shotgun, and a
mean old pit bulldog.
"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks.
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to
go
up there, and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat .
When the
Bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his
testicles, and
not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in
The cage in the back of the van.
He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" he asks.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

[StuNVA]

Adrunken man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a
half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,"Say Father,
what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with
cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,
sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned." Then returnedto
his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and
apologised. "I am very sorry. I did not mean to come on so strong. How
long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I do not have it, Father. I was just reading here
that the Pope does."

[Tony Nitrous]

A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill.
The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected
to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he would do it by smell.
The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him.
The manager asks, "What is it without touching it?" The blind man replies,
"Thats a good piece of fir." "Correct, says the manager, now try this one."
"Thats a bad piece of willow," says the blind man. "Correct," answers the manager.

With that, the manager decides to play a trick on the blind man.
He get his secretary to lift up her dress and put her crotch in the blind mans face.
"I'm confused, says the blind man, Can you turn it around?"
The secretary turns around and puts her ass in his face.
The blind man says, "Oh, youre trying to fool me! But I know exactly what kind of wood that is.
Its the shit house door off a tuna boat!"

[oldskool]

Australian Police Test


Police Test

A man is seeking to join the Police force

The sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."

Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?"

"Great attitude," says the sergeant. "When can you start?"

[Redmohawk]

Australian Police Test


Police Test

A man is seeking to join the Police force

The sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."

Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?"

"Great attitude," says the sergeant. "When can you start?"


hahaha

http://i570.photobucket.com/albums/ss143/JesseJerome/graffiti_rabbit.jpg

[Tony Nitrous]

The harbour police are on patrol in Sydney.
Suddenly they see a small boat with two Muslims in it.

They ask the two guys, "what are you doing?"

The Muslims answer: "We're going to invade Australia!"

Police: "Hah, just the two of you?"

Muslims: "No, we're the last ones. All the others are already there."

[Jed]

Hassan & Habib

Hassan and Habib are beggars.
They beg in different areas of Sydney.
Habib begs just as long as Hassan but only collects $2 to $3 every day.

Hassan brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 notes, drives a Mercedes,
lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Habib says to Hassan, 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how
do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 notes every day?'

Hassan says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say?'

Habib's sign reads; 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.

Hassan says, 'No wonder you only get $2- $3 !'

Habib says... 'So what does your sign say ?'

Hassan shows Habib his sign....
It reads: 'I only need another $10 to move back to Pakistan.'

[Jed]

God and the Motorcycle

The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles
have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who re-defined motorcycles, eh?!"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that was me..."
God commented, "Well, what's the big deal of inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me but aren't you the inventor of woman???"
God said, "Ah, yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:"
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!"
"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,"
God said to Arthur, "but ...... according to these figures, more men are riding my invention than yours!"

[StuNVA]

I was sitting watching Match of the Day when the Mrs came into the lounge and says, "Fancy a shag, Babe?"
I said, "After the football love."
She said, "You do realise that you can record it?"
I said, "Nice, you get the camcorder, I'll come upstairs when the footy finishes".

My girlfriend has just asked me how many women I've shagged.
I said, 'I really dont want to answer that love, you know I've had a past & I don't want to upset you!'
'C'mon', she said, 'I can handle it!'
So I had to sit there and count them all.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, YOU, 10, 11, 12.....

My wife asked me to go to the Doctors about my Erection problem .... she wasn't pleased when I came back and gave her some Slimming Pills.

A man donates blood to his wife after she is badly hurt in a car crash. A few years later they go through a bitter divorce and he demands his blood back!.
So she throws a tampon in his face and says, "There you go you miserable git, I'll pay you back monthly!" And the moral of this story is :- Even if a woman eventually pays back what she owes a man, there will ALWAYS be a string attached!.

I was at a wedding reception when the DJ announced 'All the married men out there go and stand by the person who makes your life worth living'. The barman was crushed to death.

My missus asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb, so I drew a c*ck on it.

I reported a dead woman lying in a field to the police. They asked me: 'How did you find her body?' I said, 'Her tits were ok, but the rigor mortis had tightened her fanny a bit too much for my liking.'

My wife was in the bathroom for hours getting ready to go out when finally the door swung open and she said, "Honestly, do I look fat in this ?".
I replied, "Yes love, but to be fair, it's only a small bathroom".

[Tony Nitrous]

One should be thinking about this seriously. The Centre for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease.

The disease is called "Gonorrhea Lectim". It's pronounced “Gonna re-elect em" and it is a terrible and deadly ailment.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behaviour involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted it in 2007. But now most people, after having been infected for the past few years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.

It's sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market called Votemout. Most people in Queensland took the first dose a couple of months ago but the second dose is due late next year.

The real cure requires that you simply do not engage in such behaviour again; otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.

[StuNVA]

If you don't laugh at this one, you're dead!

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!,' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a license for that thing?'
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper
and held it up to him.
'OK' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?'
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him.
Harold nodded and said 'On your way, Ma'am.'

As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her,
Butt- Naked, and holding his 'You-Know- What' in his hand.
'Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel,
'Not that Damn Breathalyser Test again.!!!'

[StuNVA]

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in
a fatal car accident.

The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting
for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to
wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in
Heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone
has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... For a couple of months.

While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were
allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with
the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work?

Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat
bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in
Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things
don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a
priest up here! Do you have ANY idea of how long it'll take to find a
lawyer?"

[StuNVA]

An Irishman was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows.

'Twenty pounds' she whispers.

Paddy had never been with a hooker before, but decides, what the hell, it'sonly twenty pounds. So they hid in the bushes.

They're going 'at it' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes onthem. It is a Police Officer.

'What's going on here, people?' asks the cop

'I'm making love to me wife!,' Paddy answers sounding annoyed-

'Oh, I'm sorry,' says the cop, 'I didn't know'

'Well, neidder did I, til ya shined that bloddy light in her face!!'

[StuNVA]

An 8-year-old altar boy catches the priest masturbating.

He said, "What are you doing father?"

"It's called masturbating, my son” the priest replied, "You'll be doing this soon."

"Why's that father ?" he asked.

"Because my wrist is killing me” the priest replied.

[EVLZX]

:)

[Tony Nitrous]

A woman and her young daughter are at the zoo and the daughter happens to see some monkeys having sex. She asks her mum what they are doing, the Mum doesn't want to have to explain it to her so she just says "They are making a cake".

The next morning, the daughter tells her mum " I know you and daddy were making a cake in the living room last night"

The mum was shocked and said "How do you know that? Did you see us?"

The daughter says "No, but I licked the icing off the couch!"

[Tony Nitrous]

I asked my Kiwi mate how many partners he'd had.

He started counting, but he fell asleep.

[Mr Ed]

Aaaaah, just got that. Jokes about Kiwi's and sheep, it never gets old. Can't work out if it's Kiwi's or sheeps you don't like, been rejected by a wooly back methinks.

[Tony Nitrous]

Like shooting fish in a barrel.

[Gix11]

It's only because you're closer to Australia than Wales.

[Mr Ed]

Jeez, now it's the Welsh is it boyo?

[Gix11]

A Welsh Kiwi. ...Damn.

[Mr Ed]

How lucky can one guy be? It don't get no better.

[Chase]

Van der Merwe had never been out of South Africa. While on holiday in
Australia he decided to spend an afternoon visiting Bondi Beach.

As he sat on the beach looking out to sea he saw a long line of black
dots out in the water and said to an Aussie, who was sitting close by,
"What are all those little black things out there?"

"They're buoys," said the Aussie.

"Boys?!" replied Van der Merwe. "What are they doing out there?"

"Holding up the shark net," the Aussie told him.

"What a great country!" said Van der Merwe, deeply impressed,
"We'd never get away with that at home!

[Nudie]

I asked the chemist lady for some deodorant
She said "Would you like the ball type?"
I said " No the underarm type will be fine"

[Tony Nitrous]

Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman sat in a psycology lesson.

Teacher asks the Englishman whats the opposite of joy? Sorrow he replies.

He asks the Scotsman whats the opposite of depression? He says happiness.

He asks the Irishman what the opposite of woe?

"Giddy up ya fecker!!!"

[Tony Nitrous]

http://imageshack.us/a/img221/7944/twont.jpg

[Mr Ed]

So this penguin's having trouble with his car overheating(yeah, I know some penguins are ok when it's warm but Percy ain't one of them) so takes it to the mechanic.
"Leave it with me mate, I'll have a look" says the mechanic.
Percy returns several hours later to find out what the problem is.
"Blown a seal" says the mechanic
"No" says Percy, quickly wiping his chin, "it's ice cream"

[Tony Nitrous]

My dyslexic mate has been told that he's lactose intolerant.

Now he wont go near clothes with a crocodile logo!

[Tony Nitrous]

A Porsche fan wrote on facebook how he cant wait for the new 911,

now hes got two million muslim friends.

[Tony Nitrous]

Paddy and Murphy go down to the morgue to identify the badly burnt corpse of their best mate Mick.
The mortician pulls back the sheet, paddy leans in, turns the body over, examines its bum and shouts
"This is not fucking Mick!!!"

Murphy pushes him out the way, takes a glance at the bodies chuff and screams
"He`s fucking right!! This is not Mick!!"

"How can you tell?? The mortician asks..

"Because when we all used to go out, people would say "Here comes Mick with his two arseholes!"

[Tony Nitrous]

According to an article in today's Courier Mail about personal hygiene,
most people have detectable amounts of shit on their hands at any given time.

Nonsense, I thought.

Then I realised it was probably true, as I'd just been holding a copy of the Courier Mail !

[DCRacing]

A Man enters a bar with a gun

"Who had sex with my wife" he yells

A voice from the back yells to him, "You don't have enough Bullets"

[StuNVA]

10 Catholic Priests were killed in a road accident. At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter says. “If any of you are Paedophiles, you can fuck off down to Hell”.
Nine of them start to walk away when St Peter calls out. “And take this deaf bastard with you”.

[Large]

http://imageshack.us/a/img221/7944/twont.jpg

I hate to quote anything 9fag, but is that you in the comix Tony, starting from the middle of the 4th row down?