While I was driving down the coast the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been)I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied: "I'm late for work." To which he asked: "What do you do?" I responded: "I'm a rectum stretcher" The copper was surprised and confused : "A rectum stretcher, and just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously: "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied : "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge .."
Speeding ticket: $200.00
Penalty Points : 3
Court costs: $100
Look on copper's face: Priceless.
