The Darwin Awards

[ozkat]

The most anticipated email of the year... Enjoy!
>
> Darwin Awards are out for 2004 ..
>
> Yes, these are all true.
They are finally out again.
It's an annual > honour > given to the person who did the gene pool the
biggest service by killing > themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid
way.
Last year's winner > was > the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine
which toppled over on top of > him > as he was attempting to tip a free
soda out of it.
And the nominees > this > year in reverse order are: >
> 7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, >
because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with >
milk. > Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into
the > fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his
> house > down, killing both him and his sister. > > 6. A 34-year-old
white male found dead in the basement of his home died > of > suffocation,
according to police. He was approximately 6' 2" tall and > weighed 225
pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black > and > white
saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying > to >
create a schoolgirl's uniform look. > He was also wearing a military gas
mask that had the filter canister > removed > and a rubber hose attached
in its place. The other end of the hose was > connected to one end of a
hollow tube approx. 12" long and 3" in > diameter. > The tube's other end
was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, > and > was the cause
of his suffocation. > Police found the task of explaining the circumstances
of his death to > his > family very awkward.
> > 5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude
> when > another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon
the > occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft
and > crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants
> around > their ankles.
> > 4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found dead after he
> tried > to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot railroad
trestle. > Fairfax > County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker,
taped a bunch of > these > straps together, wrapped one end around one
foot, anchored the other end > to > the trestle at Lake Accotink Park,
jumped and hit the pavement. > Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said
investigators think Barcia > was > alone because his car was found nearby.
"The length of the cord that he > assembled was greater than the distance
between the trestle and the > ground" > Carmichael said. Police say the
apparent cause of death was "Major > trauma." > > 3. A man in Alabama
died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a > friend were playing
a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. > The > friend, no doubt
a future Darwin Awards candidate, was hospitalized.
> > 2. Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the
smell > of > a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building,
extinguishing > all > potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc.
> After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas >
company > were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had
> difficulty > navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the
lights > worked. > Witnesses later described the sight of one of the
technicians reaching > into > his pocket and retrieving an object that
resembled a cigarette lighter. > Upon operation of the lighter-like object,
the gas in the warehouse > exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles
away. Nothing was found > of > the technicians, but the lighter was
virtually untouched by the > explosion. > The technician suspected of
causing the blast had never been thought of > as > 'bright' by his peers.
>

> AND THE WINNER..... > > 1. Based on a bet by the other members of his
threesome, Everitt Sanchez > tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer
at the local golf course. > Proving once again that beer and testosterone
are a bad mix, Sanchez > managed > to straddle the ball washer and dangle
his scrotum in the machine. > Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped
the anteby spinning the > crank > on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in
place, thus wedging them > solidly in > the mechanism. Sanchez, who
immediately passed his threshold of pain, > collapsed and tumbled from his
perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the > height > of the ball washer was
more than a foot higher off the ground than his > testicles are in a normal
stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. > Sanchez's scrotum was
ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was > plucked from him
forever and remained in the ball washer, while the > other > testicle was
compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the > housing > of the
washer, and the rotating machinery inside. > To add insult to injury,
Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had > just > purchased from the
proshop and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was > rushed to the
hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome was > asked to > leave
the course. > NB: This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot
didn't die. > But > because he cannot reproduce as a result of his
qualifying act of > stupidity, > we have allowed it! > > > > > >

[Rhuin]

Ok

[Crumbsnatcher]

Dunno if that suprises me, I live in a country where an average of 21 people die each year through watering their chrismas trees with the fairy lights still plugged in.

[Rhuin]

Yes, why do I have a feeling you'll be one of them one year deary?

[Crumbsnatcher]

Nah! never happen, we never have christmas trees