Whale

[whale]

Hi guys,

I am a 45 year old hooligan from Northern NSW. I am new to streetfighters and find myself here after a somewhat unfortunate incident on Australia day this year.

I was riding my 05 CB1300s through the Border Ranges National Park (north of Kyogle) when a huge, freak storm rolled in. I managed to negotiate my way through the torrents of mud that passed for the road and heaved a sigh of relief when I found the tar at the Nimbin end of the park. What I hadn’t reckoned on was the causeway that was between me and escape.

I am a good, old country boy and have plenty of experience with shit like this so I checked it out and made the call that I could make it through.

WRONG

I got washed over the side of the causeway and had to hold my bike against the rapidly rising torrent until a legend in a 4WD jumped in with a snatch strap, hooked up and skull dragged the bike out……….. nothing like seeing your headlight glowing under water.

The bike was fucked all down the left side from being hauled over the rocks, not to mention the water damage. I have discarded the fairings and fitted a set of twin headlights, custom paint and a hot growler pipe and a few other bits and pieces.

I usually post at Bikeme.tv, but have come to see you guys about some technical advice which I will post soon in the relevant section.

Cheers

[Large]

lol

Now I know why it's called the Uboat

[whale]

Yeah, thats why its been given the U Boat tag. Hows that Spondon of yours going mate?

[dingo]

O_0 , well thats not a story you hear every day[:0] welcome Stuart[8D]

[KATO ZX7]

Looks like your a natural to the Streetfighter circuit

Welcome to the nuthouse Stu.

[Docktor]

that gotta suck, and i mean bad. wayyy bummer call mate

[whale]

The big Honda on its way home after its bath

http://www.asfphotos.com/upload/1244492246.jpg


Its hard to see just how much damage there was in this photo. The head light is still full of water.

[whale]

The new look

http://www.asfphotos.com/upload/1244413891.jpg


http://www.asfphotos.com/upload/1244445755.jpg



I have added a fly screen and replaced the dash since I took these photos. I am having trouble with the dash and have asked for some advice over in the tech section.

[Benz]

Looks heaps better 'fightered.
Welcome to the site Whale

[StuNVA]

mmmmm growler

[barknmad]

Very nice and a great change of direction.
I have to say, though they look good and retro, It looks even better in the black. 8^)

[HueyonaBlade]

Welcome man , it should have come out like this from the start , if you ask me it was a blessing you binned it as long there was no major pain involved;)nice ride

[dingo]

well done Stu :D, a mate has a honda like you left in the past, although he trys to stay away from large bodies of water[:0]. im sure your creation will give him a heads up to what his ride can look like if he puts some effort in[:p]

[latheboy]

Welcome Stu, that is heaps good

[Rocket]

Gidday Whale, nice transformation.

I always liked those CB's because of their resemblance to the old CBR1100 which was the bike that first woke me up to road bikes at the age of 16.

Is it true that whale's can ejaculate a ton of cum ?
Must make home video's fun.

[scotty]

welcome, and top work mate(not drowning an all)

[wackyrider]

Welcome mate. Bike's looking good

[whale]

I just went back through the threads at Bikeme to find this. Its my account of the river crossing written on the night it happened. Thought you guys might be interested in how not to cross a creek.

The Honda U Boat

Australia Day 2009. It dawned brightish and while I should have been completing a work funded degree, it seemed a whole lot more important to spend the day riding my bike.

The police presence on the road was intense so the plan would have to include the back country and a whole lot of dirt where the HWY Patrol just would not be!

The dirt has never worried me and the big Honda has always considered itself a GS so we set off to check out some back roads to the west of Casino and Kyogle that we hadn’t sampled before.

The roads were sweet but the weather loomed a little nastily so we changed direction to avoid the showers where ever we could. Our luck was holding and we had endured nothing more than a mist when we arrived at Wiangaree after a morning of fabulous country back road touring.

I have been riding these northern NSW country roads for decades but had never managed to ride a 60 km dirt section through the Border Ranges National Park…………… today was the day. It looked like there might be a bit of misty weather hanging up on the range but fuck that! I’m a big fearless country boy and a bit of rain aint gunna fuck with my Australia Day!

I begin the climb into the hills and it starts to rain…………… I’m the man, rain won’t slow down the Whale. I climb into the hills and the rain really starts to hammer. FUCK ME, I’ve still got 50km to get out of here and its starting to look ugly…….. turn round and get out? Fuck off……….. I eat this shit for breakfast, stoke the ego and forge ahead.

It’s really pissing down now, I remove my glasses and put them and my phone into my tank bag as I am fully sodden and cant see shit through the fogged up coke bottles and the phone is looking decidedly 2nd hand. No point turning back now, forge ahead and tuff it out. I arrive at the border of the National Park to the happy news…….PARK ENTRY FREE TODAY, ENJOY YOUR AUSTRALIA DAY!

I give thanks that I don’t have to fumble for my sodden wallet and head relentlessly up the hill. I spot a sign (just, as I cant read shit without the lenses) and it gives me the bad news that I’ve got 45km of twisting dirt to go. ITS FUCKEN HAMMERING! I can just make out my speed on the GPS and the news is all bad. I’m averaging about 20kph, the road is an ankle deep stream of mud and simple arithmetic tells me that if I don’t fall off, I will need 2 hours to rejoin the bitumen.

Its Australia Day, I am the finest country rider on the east coast…………. I’ll still be here at the end of 2 hours…………Fuck you Huey, I’M IN!

Onward we go. I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately that I’m on the wrong bike. I really should be riding a GS or a KTM Adventure………….. but I ask myself why? The big Ceeba is legendary, it keeps handling what ever I dish up to it. By this stage the rain is horizontal and I am standing on the pegs, enduro style, so I can tilt my head to an angle where the lifted visor catches the worst of the blinding rain drops and I can catch a glimpse of the muddy torrents and pick my way through them. The road surface, by now, is like ice, but I am killing it and I pat myself on the back and imagine myself meting out a bit of advice to Chad Reed on how to handle himself.

I can see a bit of lighter weather ahead. I’m on my way down the mountain now and my spirits are starting to lift. I’m almost enjoying myself now, most of 2 hours behind me and the distance posts are telling me that I have almost cracked it………….. Fuck, I might even post this one on BIKEME so the boys can bask in my reflected glory!

The rain stops. I pull up at the first side road I have seen in 2 hours. Hidden Valley. I take my glasses out of the tank bag and check the GPS………… it tells me that my ordeal is over, I have cleared the National Park and within a few km will have returned to the sublime twisty delight that is the road that runs between Kyogle and Murwillumbah. I think carefully and decide to return my specs to the tank bag, no gimme that the rain is finished.

While I have stopped by the road side pondering my location on the planet, a group of 3 4WD’s rolls past. I pull in behind them and follow down the hill……………. And suddenly it appears.

A cause way with a menacing looking amount of water cascading over it. The 4WD’s pause slightly and then power across. They make it easily but the sensors start screaming in my fatigued brain…….. this is nasty, it seems to be increasing by the second…………….. stop and think.

My brain does an instant calculation and 2 options are subliminally quantified. There is absolutely no way out of here except to replay the 2 horrifying hours we have just lived or charge across the causeway.

It’s a no brainer, I am the man, nothing can stop me. I barely pause and I charge in.

Can anyone see where this is headed?

I slam it into 1st, slip the clutch so the revs are high but the speed is not too much and plunge in. I take the high line to ensure that the sideways push of the water won’t take me over but I have got it wrong. The bike starts to slow and I can feel the relentless force of the water start to take hold. The CB is not a GS after all and the pace begins to slow and the realisation catches in my throat like a fish bone. The invincible country boy has fucked it…………I’m going down!

I make it about 75% across and then it goes pear shaped. The forward momentum slows and the bike starts to head sideways…………. When my brain accepts the horrifying notion that we are not going to get across unscathed, it quickly reverts to plan B……….. I throw the bike into the torrent and step off the high side. FUCK YOU HUEY! I’LL WIN THIS YET!

I grab the grab rail behind the seat and undertake to skull drag the big Honda to safety……… I’m that close and the optimist in me decides that the rushing water will even protect it from too much cosmetic damage.

It is now that the Skymoose deserts me and suddenly I am in the torrent and the Honda has managed to pin me to a large rock. My head is clear but not by much and the water is noticeably rising. I am now faced with the decision on squirming out from under the bike and letting it career down the creek or staying put and trying to save it.

From the corner of my eye I spot the 4WDers running toward me and decide to do the honourable thing and stay with my mate, the CB (perhaps I should mention here that it’s not insured). One of the cagers actually leaps into the swollen torrent to help, it is a selfless and heroic act and I will remain grateful to him for it forever (they’re not all bad). Before he gets to me I let the bike slip sideways to release my pinned leg and give him a grab at the bars. I yell that I’m clear and he instinctively grabs the bars. As I let go the force of the water cartwheels me down stream and it’s a while before I can gain some purchase and scramble to safety on the far bank.

I claw my way to safety and look back and old mate is still in the torrent, up to his tits in trouble and still hanging on to the bars for dear life. I run back to the causeway and plunge back in to spend some time with my new best friend. Meanwhile, one of the other cagers is backing his Hilux down the bank and within a very short space of time is floating us a snatch strap which is hooked to his tow bar.

While I hold the bars in a death grip, old mate politely asks if I mind if they skull drag my previously pristine bike up the bank. Not surprisingly I give him the OK and he ties off the strap to the front wheel and my beautiful CB begins a tortuous journey to shore.

It’s out and on the bank and I have time to access the damage. One of the cagers helps out with the comment…….. shit, it looks pretty good for what it’s just been through. I beg to differ, the whole right side is fucked. Every panel hammered from the tail, through the side covers, the tank and the fairings fucked. Even the throttle body cover is rooted. The micron pipe looks like a pie plate and all of the cases are bearing the boulder tattoo. There are swamp weeds hanging from every orifice and as a particularly special Australia Day gift I spot the radiator with a 45 degree bend in it.

To make matters that little bit more special, as I wade back across the torrent to collect my helmet from the other side, I look back to see one of my rescuers hit the starter to see if she will run. She kicks once and then dies, a spurt of water from the battered micron. Unreal, probably some bent rods now as well.

The rest of the day is a whole other story. If I get the time and the strength I’ll follow on tomorrow. I’ll try to get some pics as well. I would have got some today but what I havn’t told you yet is that the earliest casualty of today was my tank bag sailing off majestically downstream with both my phone(camera) and my glasses on board.

Its late and the days events have finally caught up with me. I’ll catch you guys tomorrow with news of the recovery.

[whale]

Part 2

Australia day 2

Have you seen those eerie pictures of submerged cars with their headlights still glowing under water? I saw it yesterday, only it wasn’t car headlights………….. it was my bike. This is the image I kept coming back to this morning when I woke up and realised it wasn’t a dream. But I digress…………..

I am sitting in the tray of a hilux ute, the same one that was used to skull drag the Honda from the murky depths. I am trying to get my head around what is in front of me when we lurch to a stop outside the first house we come to on the road out. The driver suggests I knock on the door and ask for some help. Not a bad idea, if they have a tractor or a trailer and I can get the bike into their yard, I can rest easy knowing its safe and worry about getting it later. In I go, but nobody is there. We do the same at the next place with the same result…….. must be an Australia Day barbie going on some where in these here hills. The driver is making all my decisions for me and I am just sort of drifting along in that hazy sort of surreal place you go when shock comes knock, knock, knocking at your door.

I realise that I am going nowhere and I have to shake off the malaise so in good old country boy fashion I shake out the cobwebs and take charge of my own, short term, destiny. No more houses mate, I tell my new chauffeur, we were getting too far away from the bike now and I knew that the little shop/ servo at Mt. Burrell had to be within 20 or 30 k’s so I asked him to keep going and drop me there on his way out.

We arrived at the shop and I bid goodbye to my new friends who left reluctantly as I still hadn’t actually managed to formulate any sort of plan. I asked the lady inside for info and she came up with 2 business cards. One was for the towie in Murwillumbah (about 50KM) and the other was for the “THE COWBOY”, a scrap metal carter with a car trailer in Stokers Siding (about 25km away)

Now remember, this is the afternoon of the Australia Day public holiday, so I figure that I am pushing shit up hill with a stick. I decide to try the towie, reasoning that an actual towing business might just have someone on call and “THE COWBOY” is probably out murdering the wildlife and pouring Tooheys down his neck in a patriotic fervour.

I now face my next major hurdle of the day………. I CANT FUCKING SEE! I have no idea just how woeful my short distance vision has become……….. until now. If I hold the card up to the now abundant sunshine, squint my eyes and hold my mouth just right, I can just make out the big red numbers on the card. I put my money in the blue phone and dial the number (I can’t see the keypad either but at least I can figure out where the numbers are). Nothing, just nothing, no ring, no engaged, no nothing. I thump the receiver down, retrieve my coin and try again. Nothing. This happens again and again until I finally work out that the heathen phone has a lazy zero. Sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldn’t. The only way to gauge success or failure was to read the tiny, tiny screen that showed the number as you dial it. Cue more pathetic squinting and gurning but finally it is ringing…………….. straight through to message bank. I don’t bother and hang up with sinking hopes. Its time for the last roll of the dice…………… “THE COWBOY” (his number has 2 fucking zeros in it). I manage to dial the number on the third attempt and hold my breath as it connects.

A women answers and I quickly outline my dilemma……….. she speaks to someone else and then comes back to me with……… yeah John can help you out, I’ll put him on. Suddenly I am speaking to “THE COWBOY”. I tell him where I am and where I need to be and he replies that he will leave right now and see me in 20 minutes. The relief is palpable, it seems I have pulled my first bit of luck right out of my arse.

Now its time to call Jen (my wife) and let her in on my little secret and her part in the plan. I hate this because I hate to worry her and I know this is going to do just that. The last time I had to do this, she had to fetch me from the hospital in Casino after I had walked 5km out of the bush to get help after high siding my DR and ending up with a jacket full of broken ribs. The home phone came up engaged, so I called her mobile (even more zeros) and broke the news and asked her to start heading out to get me, about 2.5 hours from home. She is a hopeless navigator but as I now had no mobile (in the creek) she just had to do it herself and start heading for Uki where I figured I would get “THE COWBOY” to leave me.

OK, I had done what I needed to do and I think I let the shock haze drift in a bit because I turned from the phone to see a ute towing a largish trailer pull in to the bowser right beside me. I pulled open the passenger door, fixed him with my most charming smile and introduced myself. The driver recoiled in horror and started to shove the ute back into gear to get himself (and his back seat full of children) the fuck away from the dripping psycho in the Bikeme T shirt who had clearly come to commit murder and other acts of unspeakable outrage . Yet another fuckup for today’s list, this was not the cowboy. I stammered an apology and reeled away.

With some time to wait I moved off to the side of the car park and stripped down to my Draggins and rung out all my clothes, I had been leaving puddles where ever I went.


The cowboy duely arrived and he didn’t disappoint. Old cruiser troopy and a hat that would throw shade over Maggie Tabbera’s arse. I climbed in and we headed back towards the bike and hatched a plan for him to stash it under his house until I could come back in my ute to get it. He was a really nice bloke and a man of few words which was good cos I wasn’t feeling chatty.

We arrived at the cause way to find the bike still there and the torrent slowed to a manageable boil. If I had arrived half an hour either side of when I did, there would have been none of this hooplah. The bike looked fine from the side we were on but as he saw the far side he asked “did you do all this (damage) in there? (pointing to bubbling creek). Yep, she was pristine before her swim.

We loaded the bike and drove back to his place to unload and then he would drop me back at Uki to meet Jen. After the bike is away, I summon the courage to ask, how much. Now its taken about 3 hours of his public holiday and he has me by the balls and I prepare myself to bend over and receive my second right royal shafting for the day………………$70. I can’t believe it. He must have used $20 worth of diesel, so he’s charged me about 15 bucks an hour to save my arse and he’s baby sitting the bike. This guy is a champion and I would have been completely fucked without him. Take a bow John the cowboy. YOU ROCK.

He then drove me the 10km back to Uki where we parted company.I found myself sitting in the beer garden of the Uki Hotel and the Australia Day celebrating locals were going off. A moments hesitation and then to the bar. I had surely earned myself my first Wild Turkey in about 5 weeks………….. it lasted about 10 seconds. Good to see I hadn’t lost my touch. I daren’t have another because it was getting late and Jen struggles to drive at night and I may well yet have to drive home.

I am now sitting alone in the beer garden, wringing out my socks for the second time today when a drunk, middle aged hippy staggers over and hits on me! I can’t believe it, must be my impressive Whale torso in my wet Bikeme T Shirt that’s drawn her like a moth to a flame. I politely bale and head out to wait in the street, I just can’t cop any more chit chat. I can’t even read the toilet signs on the way out so I have a piss in the park over the road and wait for Jen. She arrives and as usual is an absolute champion about the whole deal and declares that she can drive home. We stop at a bottlo in Lismore where I grab 4 more Wild Turkeys. They are gone by Tucki, about 20 minutes. No wonder I’m feeling a bit chirpier now.

Home and to the keyboard to confess my sins.

I drove up and picked up the Honda today. The headlight haunting me again. This time an inch of muddy water within, sloshing over every bump, looming large in my rear view mirror. A testament to the stupidity of yesterday.

[banshee777]

What a story, well done mate and the transformation is a good 'un - like the growler.

[whale]

Hi everyone, I havn't had a lot of time since I joined up here but have managed to have a look at a few threads. The work going on in people's back sheds is awesome. The build threads keep blowing my mind. If wish I had a tenth of the spannering talent that some of you guys have.

I'm off to check out how to sign up so I can check out the locked sections

Cheers

Whale

[Mishdog20]

That looks horn now mate, heaps better, to the power of rad x 10.

[80s freak]

What a story, love the race stripes

[rock hard]

Hey Whale,like the reborn CB.your not from byron bay pur chance.we met a guy and his lady at chillingham on our tour of afr08.we followed this guy over the burringbar was a blast.we were the guys with the W.A.plates.anyway all the best and your submariners dolphins are in the post...

[Z Power]

looks the goods mate

[whale]

I live about an hour south of Byron mate.

Dont recall meeting you in 08 but the Burringbar is one of my roads of choice.

[morrigan]

Awesome tale Whale.. it's a Whale tale *smirk*
The Uboat looks great now though.
Welcome to the nuthouse

[Gix11]

Nice story mate. I've often crossed flooded causeways near me in the 4x4 and seen all manner of victims in the wash. Now I know one! Bad luck mate, but then again - look at your bike now! Beautiful!

[STELF]

Welcome Whale:D. Nice m[8] love it now[:p]

[whale]

Been a few additions to the bike.

I cleaned up the front by dropping the headlights slightly, making a screen to hide the wiring, a little ally bracket to tidy up the lower triple and some nice flatish MX bars

http://www.asfphotos.com/upload/1249898761.jpg


http://www.asfphotos.com/upload/1249858808.jpg


http://www.asfphotos.com/upload/1249859605.jpg

[stackas]

more bikes should end up in the drink if they look that good afterward.

[Harry]

Shit mate thats a horror story,good thing it was the bike retrived from the bottom of the drink and not you[xx(]...cb13's are heavy bastards,i have one. i'd have a turkey with ya any day.
the bike is looking good now mate ! :)

[whale]

Cheers Harry, we'll have to meet up one day.

[bly]

Reading your story again gave me another chuckle Whale.
And yes it looks heaps better.

[bly]

Hey what mirrors are they?

[rod185651]

they look like bar end mirrors from AUSFR mate

[bly]

I'm after some nice little barend mirrors like them.
Are they convex so the blue flashing lights look bigger?

[sharky]

I think I have a pair downstairs in the garage...I'll let ya know tomoro