Lucas
24-05-2009, 12:14 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8oU3ES17qc&feature=related
http://extremefood.com/shop/product.php?productid=14&cat=1&page=1
Cranky and the World's Hottest Burger, Off The Wall Diner, QLD, AU
Dear sweet Jesus I will make this report VERY quick because just the memory of the burger is giving me bowel cramps.
First of all the burger in question can be found at the "Off The Wall Diner" at Wellington Point in Brisbane.
Secondly, before it gets served to you, you have to put on rubber gloves.
Finally, it was not so much a meal as a physical assault.
I swear to god I have never been in so much pain in my life. I was mentally prepared for the burn and had decided that no matter how hot it turned out to be I was just going to open a can of "harden the F@#k up" and keep eating. So here's how it panned out...
4 of us head to Wellington Point around 2pm for a cruisy Saturday lunch. Me, Thommo and our two better halves.
We know that drinking beer won't help the burn, but just for psychological backup we have 2 6 packs of Little Creatures. We drink 1 6 pack on the way to the diner. We start on the other as soon as we arrive.
The 2 guys order the megadeath burgers to much laughter and derision from the kitchen of the diner. The 2 girls order sensible burgers.
We are downing the beer like water before we even see the burger so we run across the road and grab another 6 pack from the pub.
The girls burgers arrive and they are awesome hand made giant patty mother F@#king things and I'm starting to get REALLY hungry.
Our burgers arrive, with rubber gloves and a recovery kit consisting of a big drink of milk and a bowl of yogurt. The challenge remains that if we can finish the burger without resorting to the recovery kit we get our names on a plaque on the wall...
I start eating, and eating fast. I stick with my game plan and ignore the burn, just push through the pain. 2 things happen immediately to my body.
1. I get violent hiccups as my body tries to reject the molten lava I am putting into it.
2. I begin crying like a little girl.
Not to be discouraged I forge ahead, quickly shoveling the burger into my mouth. I begin to descend into my own little hell. Staff come out and are watching us eat and are egging us on. I can barely notice anything except the immense pain in my mouth, eyes, ears (yes my ears were ringing) but most importantly in my stomach...
And this is the problem.
The burning mouth, the crying, the ringing ears I can handle. But now with less than a third of the burger to go my stomach seizes up and refuses to let me put anything into it. I take a deep breath and look for my can of "harden the F@#k up" when I notice that my mate Thommo has stopped eating his burger just beyond the halfway point and is wandering aimlessly up and down the street.
He has honestly lost the plot and is walking around in circles.
I decide I can't be defeated and manage one more bite before my stomach explains at this point that it is about to return to me everything I have just eaten at high speed.
not being able to face the prospect of vomiting back something that hot I pull off my gloves and admit defeat with 2 mouthfuls to go. The staff can't believe I have got this close and not finished it but at this point I really don't give a F@#k because I have just started to hallucinate.
No exaggerations here for the next 15-20 minutes or so as we just sat there I was completely off my face. it is one of the strangest drug experiences I have ever had (that’s a BIG call). The closest thing I can liken it to is the feeling you have when you are coming off an "e" and you are really jumpy, agitated, spun out and trippy.
Can I recommend this burger to anyone?
No F@#king way.
Should you go and try it anyway?
AbsoF@#kinglutely!
The Evil Burger
Mark crying like a little girl
Thommo wants his mum
Defeated
http://extremefood.com/shop/product.php?productid=14&cat=1&page=1
Cranky and the World's Hottest Burger, Off The Wall Diner, QLD, AU
Dear sweet Jesus I will make this report VERY quick because just the memory of the burger is giving me bowel cramps.
First of all the burger in question can be found at the "Off The Wall Diner" at Wellington Point in Brisbane.
Secondly, before it gets served to you, you have to put on rubber gloves.
Finally, it was not so much a meal as a physical assault.
I swear to god I have never been in so much pain in my life. I was mentally prepared for the burn and had decided that no matter how hot it turned out to be I was just going to open a can of "harden the F@#k up" and keep eating. So here's how it panned out...
4 of us head to Wellington Point around 2pm for a cruisy Saturday lunch. Me, Thommo and our two better halves.
We know that drinking beer won't help the burn, but just for psychological backup we have 2 6 packs of Little Creatures. We drink 1 6 pack on the way to the diner. We start on the other as soon as we arrive.
The 2 guys order the megadeath burgers to much laughter and derision from the kitchen of the diner. The 2 girls order sensible burgers.
We are downing the beer like water before we even see the burger so we run across the road and grab another 6 pack from the pub.
The girls burgers arrive and they are awesome hand made giant patty mother F@#king things and I'm starting to get REALLY hungry.
Our burgers arrive, with rubber gloves and a recovery kit consisting of a big drink of milk and a bowl of yogurt. The challenge remains that if we can finish the burger without resorting to the recovery kit we get our names on a plaque on the wall...
I start eating, and eating fast. I stick with my game plan and ignore the burn, just push through the pain. 2 things happen immediately to my body.
1. I get violent hiccups as my body tries to reject the molten lava I am putting into it.
2. I begin crying like a little girl.
Not to be discouraged I forge ahead, quickly shoveling the burger into my mouth. I begin to descend into my own little hell. Staff come out and are watching us eat and are egging us on. I can barely notice anything except the immense pain in my mouth, eyes, ears (yes my ears were ringing) but most importantly in my stomach...
And this is the problem.
The burning mouth, the crying, the ringing ears I can handle. But now with less than a third of the burger to go my stomach seizes up and refuses to let me put anything into it. I take a deep breath and look for my can of "harden the F@#k up" when I notice that my mate Thommo has stopped eating his burger just beyond the halfway point and is wandering aimlessly up and down the street.
He has honestly lost the plot and is walking around in circles.
I decide I can't be defeated and manage one more bite before my stomach explains at this point that it is about to return to me everything I have just eaten at high speed.
not being able to face the prospect of vomiting back something that hot I pull off my gloves and admit defeat with 2 mouthfuls to go. The staff can't believe I have got this close and not finished it but at this point I really don't give a F@#k because I have just started to hallucinate.
No exaggerations here for the next 15-20 minutes or so as we just sat there I was completely off my face. it is one of the strangest drug experiences I have ever had (that’s a BIG call). The closest thing I can liken it to is the feeling you have when you are coming off an "e" and you are really jumpy, agitated, spun out and trippy.
Can I recommend this burger to anyone?
No F@#king way.
Should you go and try it anyway?
AbsoF@#kinglutely!
The Evil Burger
Mark crying like a little girl
Thommo wants his mum
Defeated