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Lucas
24-05-2009, 12:14 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8oU3ES17qc&feature=related

http://extremefood.com/shop/product.php?productid=14&cat=1&page=1

Cranky and the World's Hottest Burger, Off The Wall Diner, QLD, AU




Dear sweet Jesus I will make this report VERY quick because just the memory of the burger is giving me bowel cramps.

First of all the burger in question can be found at the "Off The Wall Diner" at Wellington Point in Brisbane.

Secondly, before it gets served to you, you have to put on rubber gloves.

Finally, it was not so much a meal as a physical assault.

I swear to god I have never been in so much pain in my life. I was mentally prepared for the burn and had decided that no matter how hot it turned out to be I was just going to open a can of "harden the F@#k up" and keep eating. So here's how it panned out...



4 of us head to Wellington Point around 2pm for a cruisy Saturday lunch. Me, Thommo and our two better halves.

We know that drinking beer won't help the burn, but just for psychological backup we have 2 6 packs of Little Creatures. We drink 1 6 pack on the way to the diner. We start on the other as soon as we arrive.

The 2 guys order the megadeath burgers to much laughter and derision from the kitchen of the diner. The 2 girls order sensible burgers.

We are downing the beer like water before we even see the burger so we run across the road and grab another 6 pack from the pub.



The girls burgers arrive and they are awesome hand made giant patty mother F@#king things and I'm starting to get REALLY hungry.

Our burgers arrive, with rubber gloves and a recovery kit consisting of a big drink of milk and a bowl of yogurt. The challenge remains that if we can finish the burger without resorting to the recovery kit we get our names on a plaque on the wall...

I start eating, and eating fast. I stick with my game plan and ignore the burn, just push through the pain. 2 things happen immediately to my body.

1. I get violent hiccups as my body tries to reject the molten lava I am putting into it.
2. I begin crying like a little girl.



Not to be discouraged I forge ahead, quickly shoveling the burger into my mouth. I begin to descend into my own little hell. Staff come out and are watching us eat and are egging us on. I can barely notice anything except the immense pain in my mouth, eyes, ears (yes my ears were ringing) but most importantly in my stomach...

And this is the problem.

The burning mouth, the crying, the ringing ears I can handle. But now with less than a third of the burger to go my stomach seizes up and refuses to let me put anything into it. I take a deep breath and look for my can of "harden the F@#k up" when I notice that my mate Thommo has stopped eating his burger just beyond the halfway point and is wandering aimlessly up and down the street.

He has honestly lost the plot and is walking around in circles.



I decide I can't be defeated and manage one more bite before my stomach explains at this point that it is about to return to me everything I have just eaten at high speed.

not being able to face the prospect of vomiting back something that hot I pull off my gloves and admit defeat with 2 mouthfuls to go. The staff can't believe I have got this close and not finished it but at this point I really don't give a F@#k because I have just started to hallucinate.

No exaggerations here for the next 15-20 minutes or so as we just sat there I was completely off my face. it is one of the strangest drug experiences I have ever had (that’s a BIG call). The closest thing I can liken it to is the feeling you have when you are coming off an "e" and you are really jumpy, agitated, spun out and trippy.

Can I recommend this burger to anyone?

No F@#king way.

Should you go and try it anyway?

AbsoF@#kinglutely!


The Evil Burger


Mark crying like a little girl


Thommo wants his mum


Defeated

Lucas
24-05-2009, 12:23 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy7gH7893N4

Gix11
24-05-2009, 06:26 PM
http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=13389

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=15213

336LJ
25-05-2009, 01:38 AM
I seriously.. have to try this burger. but I want at least 2 days off work afterwards so I can shit lava in the comfort of my own home.
When asking a mate at work what it was like he said with a horrified look on his face "destruction"

Razorback
25-05-2009, 07:59 AM
Well I spent a lot of time in SE Asia and ate pretty much everything put in front of me with the exception of the fried grasshoppers and mouse on a stick. I pleaded with the locals to defeat me with heat and the only thing I ate in SE Asia I coundlt finish was a green chilli dip in the fucken Hyat in Bangkok..... So I wouldnt be stupid enough to say something like... "Im sure I could murder that burger" because I have learned that hot food can take you by surprise.... but I would be surprised if a burger defeated me...

zx12argh
25-05-2009, 12:37 PM
I've grown the chilli plants that they make the sauce from. They are something else. I'm a chilli freak myself - been eating hot curries since a wee lad - but these things transcend hot. On the heat scale they rate 100,000 - 350,000 times hotter then a birds eye chilli. When I cooked with them I would use about a 1/4 of a chilli finely diced instead of a few generous helpings of that masterfoods chilli paste.

The flavour is pretty unique... Kind of waxy fruity flavour. At least thats what you get before the burn starts. A couple mates chewed a whole one and swallowed - the were getting vomitous stomache cramps for about 3 hours, extreme chilli burps and painful anal discharges for the next day or so.

But i reckon thats only cause they are soft.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Habanero

Jup
25-05-2009, 02:47 PM
quote:2. I begin crying like a little girl.

Pfffft hehehe *snort hehehe

Razorback
25-05-2009, 03:26 PM
quote:Originally posted by zx12argh

I've grown the chilli plants that they make the sauce from. They are something else. I'm a chilli freak myself - been eating hot curries since a wee lad - but these things transcend hot. On the heat scale they rate 100,000 - 350,000 times hotter then a birds eye chilli. When I cooked with them I would use about a 1/4 of a chilli finely diced instead of a few generous helpings of that masterfoods chilli paste.

The flavour is pretty unique... Kind of waxy fruity flavour. At least thats what you get before the burn starts. A couple mates chewed a whole one and swallowed - the were getting vomitous stomache cramps for about 3 hours, extreme chilli burps and painful anal discharges for the next day or so.

But i reckon thats only cause they are soft.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Habanero



Yeah I am certainly not saying I could do it... Just that I think my tolerance is probably up there having, like you, grown up in a family with a dad who thought it was funny to tell me a birds eye chili was a radish [B)]

uncle pervy
25-05-2009, 08:16 PM
oh fucking grow up you pussies. their only habanero chillies. yes i have eaten them and yes your arsehole burns for a day or two
and yes they are the one's homer simpson calls guatamelian insanity pepper's and they sort the pussy's from the men (see me, I AM a MAN, ya pussy's)

boris
25-05-2009, 08:41 PM
I think uncle pervy has just laid down the challenge for AFR10 see if you can get them onside as sponsors si or any brisvegasees and make sure there are plenty of shithouses (not that pervy will need one) lol

Razorback
26-05-2009, 07:13 AM
Well it just so happens my work has an office in Brissy now and Im overdue for a visit AND I own a video camera... so watch this space lol... But AFR 10 with 40 cocky fuckers walking in there to do it... now THAT would make Youtube!

TurboKat
26-05-2009, 10:58 AM
My shitty camera won't take a clear pic but if you're a SERIOUS chilli fan, this is the shit right here. [}:)]
I also fancy myself as being able to eat just about anything heatwise (Although I have found that if you don't keep eating hot stuff, your tolerence lowers over time) but I struggle with this one.
It's made by a dude in Jindvick in the back blocks of Mexico www.redbackchilli.com.au & he has a range of sauces & chutneys which are senfuckingsational... this one, called Pleasure & Pain is 10/10 on his scale of heat & must be used in moderation.
It's the closest thing to pure Habanero paste I've found, you can't put more than half a teaspoon of it in a big pot of curry/stew/casserole/whatever without people freaking out on you ;)
I'm gunna slip some into Deano's (I can eat anything as long as it's not hotter than a KFC Zinger) tomato sauce bottle nextime I'm at his joint - he'll look like this -> [:0] except RED [}:)]

http://www.asfphotos.com/upload/1243331372.jpg

Fight_fan
26-05-2009, 12:01 PM
Give some to Bandit'nothingstrongerthanamintycozIstillusekiddie stoothpaste'Rod TK! That'd b fuckin hilarious!

wackyrider
26-05-2009, 12:45 PM
quote:Originally posted by Fight_fan

Give some to Bandit'nothingstrongerthanamintycozIstillusekiddie stoothpaste'Rod TK! That'd b fuckin hilarious!


:D:D:D