Chuck Norris

[opindown]

someone had said something on here the other day about chuck norris and i come across these when goin through some emails

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/566682552292425.png


http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/56668255274781.png

[Cruisecontrol]

Are you new to the internets?

[opindown]

internets....whats internets? lol nope i just luv chuck norris
why do you ask cruisecontrol?

[Cruisecontrol]

Cause this dude was 16 when he posted Chuck Norris jokes for the first time.

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/56668310119273.jpg

[Weaselman]

ROFL

[opindown]

lmfao! i know but chucks No.1

[Cruisecontrol]

I concur.

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/56668421391886.jpg

[opindown]

I aint gonna win this am i cruisecontrol?

[Cruisecontrol]

I have been laughing my arse off for the last hour reading Chuck Norris jokes. I forgot how damn funny they were...:D

[BANDITROD]

hahahahahahahahahaha no matter how many time i look at chuck norris jokes they still crack me up lol

[Mishdog20]

Have u blokes seen the natty lil thing with google, if ya's type find chuck norris, and then click i'm feeling lucky, it should give ya's a lil smile.

[BANDITROD]

you dont find chuck norris he finds you lol

[336LJ]

quote:Originally posted by Cruisecontrol

I concur.

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/56668421391886.jpg



This is definately the funniest pic I'v seen about chuck, pissed myself laughing the first time I saw it.

[Tone]

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/11980176020465.jpg

C'mon,Chuck got done in this biff.;)

[opindown]

quote:Originally posted by Tone

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/11980176020465.jpg

C'mon,Chuck got done in this biff.;)

coarse he got done! that is the master Mr Bruce Lee.

[Large]

quote:Originally posted by opindown


quote:Originally posted by Tone

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/11980176020465.jpg

C'mon,Chuck got done in this biff.;)

coarse he got done! that is the master Mr Bruce Lee.


Soon after that pic was taken Bruce Lee was dead from the after effects of being hit by Chuck.

[Fish]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Razorback]

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h293/thenamesjimjones/Chuck-Norris.jpg

http://astrochimp.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/01/Chuck%20Norris-code2.jpg

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u272/nateisstrait58/chuck%20norris/chuck_norris-1.jpg

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/1/16/Chuck_norris_toilet_paper.png/402px-Chuck_norris_toilet_paper.png

[opindown]

LMAO!!!

[camlark]

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/60434030615906.jpg

[Harry]

:).......go chuck !

[Surt]

quote:Originally posted by opindown



http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/566682552292425.png




Hey mates, I read the whole of it, but didn't laughed at all. For the first hand I have to know, who the fuck is Chuck Norris? Is he ur prime minister or a local guru, eh?

[?][?][?][?][?][?][?][?][?][?][?][?][?]

[boris]

How old are you surt?

[JackTar]

We call the poofter movie with Heath Ledger in it Brokeback Mountain. That is what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas on his front lawn.

There was no such thing as a giraffe until Chuck Norris gave a horse an uppercut.

[opindown]

LMFAO!

[Surt]

quote:Originally posted by boris

How old are you surt?


well young man, six and a hundred winters saw my eyes...
that's my family album pictire, I just cannot understand where did you get it from...

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/56668310119273.jpg


but why?

[Docktor]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egZkyaF6b70&feature=related

the boogeyman checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.....

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost!

The best part of waking up,knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

[Surt]

you bought it mates!:D Actually I start a-laughin' when I'm seein' Chuck appears. :) But the funniest thing's Chuck Norris without his beard in some early 70s movie, he played a truck driver thore [:0]

[Surt]

quote:Originally posted by Surt

you bought it mates!:D Actually I start a-laughin' when I'm seein' Chuck appears. :) But the funniest thing's Chuck Norris without his beard in some early 70s movie, he played a truck driver thore [:0]



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4w8TeZTYv0

BRRRAKA! BRRRRAKAAH!!!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[gixkat]

Did that win an Oscar [?]

[dingo]

an award for an outstanding movie :)

[Surt]

quote:Originally posted by gixkat

Did that win an Oscar [?]

wat oscar? :)

[Surt]

quote:Originally posted by dingo

an award for an outstanding movie :)

;)

[336LJ]

fuck off thats not him theres supposed to be another fist under that beard :(

[Surt]

quote:Originally posted by 336LJ

fuck off thats not him theres supposed to be another fist under that beard :(

yup it hurts when ur god...dog[?][?][?]...nup, gods off the pedestal [xx(]

[}:)]