CBRRRT
10-01-2009, 12:58 AM
I’ve fuckin had enough of rain recession and fuckin political correctness so I went to the Austrialian department of immigration and citizenship and told them I wanted in
They said not so fast CBRRRT there is a bit of form filling to do first.
Well, you know I’m not much good at that sort of thing so I wondered if you guys could give me a hand filling in the attached.
Australian
Citizenship Test
The Australian citizenship test has been designed to assist people who want to become
Australian citizens gain an understanding of Australia’s values, traditions, history and national
symbols.
The test is an important part of ensuring that migrants have the capacity to fully participate in
the Australian community as citizens and maximise the opportunities available to them in
Australia. It will promote social cohesion and successful integration into the community.
Test Rules
There are some basic rules which you must follow during the test:
- Test is timed - You will be allowed 45 minutes to complete the test (or 90 minutes in
the case of an assisted test). No additional time will be made available.
- This is a closed book test - You must not bring any test resource material into the testing
centre (this includes note paper, the Becoming an Australian Citizen resource book,
study notes, etc).
- Personal belongings may be taken into the test site however these must be stored under
the desk for the duration of the test. Mobile phones and all other electronic
communication/gaming equipment should be switched off while you are within the test
centre.
If you do not follow these rules, you may be asked to leave the test centre and may have to sit
the test again.
Test Questions
You may begin writing only once you are advised to do so by the test supervisor.
(1) Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin, of the term
“died in the arse”? Explain the meaning:
(2) What is a “bloody little beauty”?
(3) Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
Yes / No
TURN TO PAGE 2
2 CONFIDENTIAL
(4) Explain the following passage:
In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a Barbie, some bevvies and a few
snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the
chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block
after Dad and Steve had a Barney and a bit of biffo.
(5) Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are
travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how
many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye
and taking a slash?
(6) Complete the following sentences:
(a) If the van's rockin' don't bother ________________________________
(b) You're going home in the back of a _____________________________
(c) Fair crack of the ________________________________________
(7) I've had a gutful and I can't be farked. Discuss
(8) Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
Yes / No
(9) Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"?
Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
Yes / No
(10) Do you or your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry
powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or Kai see Ming?
Yes / No
TURN TO PAGE 3
3 CONFIDENTIAL
(11) What are the ingredients in a rissole?
(12) Describe the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
(13) Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a
bloke?
Yes / No
(14) In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
Yes / No
(15) When you go to a bring-your-own-meat Barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
(16) What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be
included in a hamburger with the lot?
(17) Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
Yes / No
(18) Is it possible to prang a car while doing circle work?
Yes / No
(19) Who would you like to crack on to?
(20) Who is the most Australian (pick one answer):
(a) Kevin "Bloody" Wilson
(b) John "True Blue" Williamson
(c) Kylie Minogue
(d) Warnie
TURN TO PAGE 4
4 CONFIDENTIAL
(21) Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
Yes / No
(22) What do the phrases “sinkin piss at a mates joint” and “gettin paraletic” mean?
Please submit this paper back to the test supervisor when you have had a fair crack.
It looks like real hard work being an Aussie, an I'll never remember all that lot, I think I'll just stay ere and Whinge Whinge Whinge, "I wish I was you".
They said not so fast CBRRRT there is a bit of form filling to do first.
Well, you know I’m not much good at that sort of thing so I wondered if you guys could give me a hand filling in the attached.
Australian
Citizenship Test
The Australian citizenship test has been designed to assist people who want to become
Australian citizens gain an understanding of Australia’s values, traditions, history and national
symbols.
The test is an important part of ensuring that migrants have the capacity to fully participate in
the Australian community as citizens and maximise the opportunities available to them in
Australia. It will promote social cohesion and successful integration into the community.
Test Rules
There are some basic rules which you must follow during the test:
- Test is timed - You will be allowed 45 minutes to complete the test (or 90 minutes in
the case of an assisted test). No additional time will be made available.
- This is a closed book test - You must not bring any test resource material into the testing
centre (this includes note paper, the Becoming an Australian Citizen resource book,
study notes, etc).
- Personal belongings may be taken into the test site however these must be stored under
the desk for the duration of the test. Mobile phones and all other electronic
communication/gaming equipment should be switched off while you are within the test
centre.
If you do not follow these rules, you may be asked to leave the test centre and may have to sit
the test again.
Test Questions
You may begin writing only once you are advised to do so by the test supervisor.
(1) Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin, of the term
“died in the arse”? Explain the meaning:
(2) What is a “bloody little beauty”?
(3) Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
Yes / No
TURN TO PAGE 2
2 CONFIDENTIAL
(4) Explain the following passage:
In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a Barbie, some bevvies and a few
snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the
chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block
after Dad and Steve had a Barney and a bit of biffo.
(5) Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are
travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how
many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye
and taking a slash?
(6) Complete the following sentences:
(a) If the van's rockin' don't bother ________________________________
(b) You're going home in the back of a _____________________________
(c) Fair crack of the ________________________________________
(7) I've had a gutful and I can't be farked. Discuss
(8) Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
Yes / No
(9) Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"?
Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
Yes / No
(10) Do you or your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry
powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or Kai see Ming?
Yes / No
TURN TO PAGE 3
3 CONFIDENTIAL
(11) What are the ingredients in a rissole?
(12) Describe the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
(13) Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a
bloke?
Yes / No
(14) In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
Yes / No
(15) When you go to a bring-your-own-meat Barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
(16) What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be
included in a hamburger with the lot?
(17) Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
Yes / No
(18) Is it possible to prang a car while doing circle work?
Yes / No
(19) Who would you like to crack on to?
(20) Who is the most Australian (pick one answer):
(a) Kevin "Bloody" Wilson
(b) John "True Blue" Williamson
(c) Kylie Minogue
(d) Warnie
TURN TO PAGE 4
4 CONFIDENTIAL
(21) Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
Yes / No
(22) What do the phrases “sinkin piss at a mates joint” and “gettin paraletic” mean?
Please submit this paper back to the test supervisor when you have had a fair crack.
It looks like real hard work being an Aussie, an I'll never remember all that lot, I think I'll just stay ere and Whinge Whinge Whinge, "I wish I was you".