EFE 1230
23-01-2012, 09:30 PM
Got back to work today and one of the blokes had a holiday story about his mate to share..........
His mate woke up one morning to find he couldn't piss, no dribble nothing so off to the doctor he went.
A few days and a few minor tests and still nothing, the doctor scratching his head and actually has no fucking idea what's going on other than to tell him not to drink (guy could shit no probs but not piss, remember this folks) and sends him to a specialist.
A few days and more tests the bloke still can't piss is in quite a bit of pain and is bloated enough to look 6mths pregnant so the specialist sends him to a private (health insurance) hospital to see the specialists "specialist" because he can't work out why fuck the bloke hasn't been able to piss for a WEEK, yes, SEVEN DAYS! .
So a few more days and even more tests and they find nothing and tell him if there is no change in the next 12hrs he's going under the knife for "EMERGENCY EXPLORATORY SURGERY" before something really nasty happens to his bladder/kidneys and tell him he may have to have a temporary colostomy (bag) (worse case scenario) to sort out things in the short term.
By this time the poor cunt is a bit doped up for the pain (no shit!) to help him sleep so as he's dozing off he "dreams" he's taking a piss then wakes up and is actually pissing.....his hospital gown, the bed, the private rooms floor as he's rushing to the toilet then all over the toilet floor, finally makes it to the actually toilet and is standing there making so much noise that a passing nurse rushes in!
Then when they were changing his piss soaked sheets they found a few shriveled up yellow pieces of what at first was thought to be kidney stones but a "no fucking way did we miss kidney stones that size" from the doc so when the yellow bits were "laboratory tested" they were found to "vegetable matter" actually they were thought to be pieces of corn, "yes corn of the cob".
Now remember the bloke could still shit so he was eating during this time but not much and no corn, the fucking guy hates corn even hates the fact his wife eats corn in fact after he found out she ate corn the day before this happened the bloke has told his wife in no uncertain terms that "UNDER NO FUCKING CIRCUMSTANCES WILL YOU EAT CORN EVER AGAIN BITCH!
So you ask where the fuck has the corn in his bed come from ???
And I'm sure you want to know why the fuck is his wife now forbidden from consuming corn ???
Well the day before he took his last piss and before ending up in hospital (almost) getting a colostomy his wife ate some corn, it traveled through her digestive system and settled in her bowel awaiting her next "movement" when the whole naturally occurring process was interrupted by the blokes dick, repeatedly, again and again, over and over those pieces of corn were pushed around by the blokes dick until at least 1 became wedged in it and only came out after naturally disintegrating enough to be pushed out by the force of his swollen bladder.
So now we know guys, never let a bitch eat corn coz vegetable matter stuck in the end of your cock is bad.
His mate woke up one morning to find he couldn't piss, no dribble nothing so off to the doctor he went.
A few days and a few minor tests and still nothing, the doctor scratching his head and actually has no fucking idea what's going on other than to tell him not to drink (guy could shit no probs but not piss, remember this folks) and sends him to a specialist.
A few days and more tests the bloke still can't piss is in quite a bit of pain and is bloated enough to look 6mths pregnant so the specialist sends him to a private (health insurance) hospital to see the specialists "specialist" because he can't work out why fuck the bloke hasn't been able to piss for a WEEK, yes, SEVEN DAYS! .
So a few more days and even more tests and they find nothing and tell him if there is no change in the next 12hrs he's going under the knife for "EMERGENCY EXPLORATORY SURGERY" before something really nasty happens to his bladder/kidneys and tell him he may have to have a temporary colostomy (bag) (worse case scenario) to sort out things in the short term.
By this time the poor cunt is a bit doped up for the pain (no shit!) to help him sleep so as he's dozing off he "dreams" he's taking a piss then wakes up and is actually pissing.....his hospital gown, the bed, the private rooms floor as he's rushing to the toilet then all over the toilet floor, finally makes it to the actually toilet and is standing there making so much noise that a passing nurse rushes in!
Then when they were changing his piss soaked sheets they found a few shriveled up yellow pieces of what at first was thought to be kidney stones but a "no fucking way did we miss kidney stones that size" from the doc so when the yellow bits were "laboratory tested" they were found to "vegetable matter" actually they were thought to be pieces of corn, "yes corn of the cob".
Now remember the bloke could still shit so he was eating during this time but not much and no corn, the fucking guy hates corn even hates the fact his wife eats corn in fact after he found out she ate corn the day before this happened the bloke has told his wife in no uncertain terms that "UNDER NO FUCKING CIRCUMSTANCES WILL YOU EAT CORN EVER AGAIN BITCH!
So you ask where the fuck has the corn in his bed come from ???
And I'm sure you want to know why the fuck is his wife now forbidden from consuming corn ???
Well the day before he took his last piss and before ending up in hospital (almost) getting a colostomy his wife ate some corn, it traveled through her digestive system and settled in her bowel awaiting her next "movement" when the whole naturally occurring process was interrupted by the blokes dick, repeatedly, again and again, over and over those pieces of corn were pushed around by the blokes dick until at least 1 became wedged in it and only came out after naturally disintegrating enough to be pushed out by the force of his swollen bladder.
So now we know guys, never let a bitch eat corn coz vegetable matter stuck in the end of your cock is bad.