The clit - a kids point of view

[ashcook]

How's this for fucking funny.

Our son who is 11 asked us today what a clit was. He couldn't have done it at a better time either as my wife and I were having a couple of drinks. My wife couldn't stop laughing, I said it was a part of a womans bits and he would find out exactly what it was when he got a girlfriend. He then asked what it did, I said it was called the fun button which only got us laughing even more. He then said, "oh, like putting a train in the tunnel" (his terminology) and we said no, then he said "putting a train in the back tunnel" What the fuck do kids plan on doing at the age of 11? I don't remember thinking about going up the farter when I was that age. He then related all this back to Jay and Silent Bob, what a great influence that has been.

[devo]

Hmmmmmm funny stuff , my Daughter who is 10 came home the other day and said Dad can you get pregnant from Anal Sex , I said ofcourse you can darling where do you think Fanantical Muslims come from.

[ashcook]

hahahaha, thats a fucking brilliant answer. What the fuck is going on for them all to be talking about anal? I thought tits were interesting enough to give you a hard on at that age

that is so fucked up.....pmsl

[336LJ]

haha thats funny as hell!

[Jockney Rebel]

jonny[aged 12]:hey dad grannys got a prawn between her legs ....!!
dad; no son thats her clit..
jonny:fukin tastes like a prawn !

[hooligan]

quote:Originally posted by Jockney Rebel

jimmi[aged 12]:hey dad grannys got a prawn between her legs ....!!
dad; no son thats her clit..
jimmi:fukin tastes like a prawn !


:D:D

[Shadowzone]

quote:Originally posted by ashcook

hahahaha, thats a fucking brilliant answer. What the fuck is going on for them all to be talking about anal? I thought tits were interesting enough to give you a hard on at that age


Makes perfect sense really. Since our education system perpetrates the lie that "Homosexuality is Natural." They realise that poofters have anal sex and therefore think about it in context with themselves.

Now before the PC crowd jump up and down and get told to go jump because I called the bluff of the perverts who are homo's let me disprove this theory in one short logical sentence -

If the entire world, i.e; every man and woman on the planet were to engage solely in homosexual intercourse it would eradicate the entire population of the human species in one generation. Therefore it is NOT natural.

Sorry but I'll never concede to anyone being able to prove to me otherwise as with that argument it isn't possible.

But anyway the reason the kids are asking about anal sex (and this is a guess but I'd welcome some asking their kids) is due to the homo's cause they do realise that's how they do it.

[ashcook]

the kids do know all about that, I know that for sure. I personally do not care if someone chooses to put something in their or someone elses ass, as long as its not mine. But you are right, the kids do know all about it.

[fimpBIKES]

shadowzone wtf are you on about?

you've obviously never seen what happens if you put 2 bulls in one paddock by themselves

[Fight_fan]

I agree bein ghey isnt the most natural thing, but at the same time... Who would chose on their own free will to be a fag? Seriously! Its not as if they get up one mornin n think im sick of boobs, think i'l go fuck some dude up his hairy ass!

[zx12argh]

If you are against homosexuals shadowzone then you are against hot lesbian action which therefore means you, yourself are gay.
Q.E.D. :D

[latheboy]

quote:
If the entire world, i.e; every man and woman on the planet were to engage solely in homosexual intercourse it would eradicate the entire population of the human species in one generation.



Who says that wouldn't be a bad thing ... Humans are fucked and should be wiped out ... 99.9% of the people on this planet are a fucking waste of oxygen

[gibbo]

Wow, this has gone somewhere else altogether!!

[latheboy]

i just re-read what i typed .. Thats not a dig at you Stuart i'm just in a Murderous mood

[TurboKat]

quote:Originally posted by latheboy
Who says that wouldn't be a bad thing ... Humans are fucked and should be wiped out ... 99.9% of the people on this planet are a fucking waste of oxygen

Now THAT'S WERD

[KATO ZX7]

Well who's missin out.
You do now that a guys g-spot is up his arse??
Why is it so...........???

[Shadowzone]

Kato it may well be there, but it can be stimulated without the need to annally ream him.

Latheboy np. Didn't take offence. I feel the same way some days. I think we all do. Just don't kill someone cause otherwise all you'll get for the next 20 odd yrs is mano el mano...

[ashcook]

this went from the clit to gay ass sex, thats up there with purple monkey dishwasher

[Shadowzone]

Purple Monkey Dishwasher? like what the?

[ashcook]

ha, its an old simpsons reference

[KATO ZX7]

i love this site :D
you get a bit of everything [}:)]

[Fight_fan]

quote:Originally posted by KATO ZX7

Well who's missin out.
You do now that a guys g-spot is up his arse??
Why is it so...........???


I do kno it up there, but could u imagine if it was within reach normally? Guys are bad enough when it comes to masturbation as it is! If we had an easily accessible G-spot we'd be lucky to make it to work everyday! Thats why its hidden Kato! [^] :D

[KATO ZX7]

quote:Originally posted by Fight_fan


quote:Originally posted by KATO ZX7

Well who's missin out.
You do now that a guys g-spot is up his arse??
Why is it so...........???


I do kno it up there, but could u imagine if it was within reach normally? Guys are bad enough when it comes to masturbation as it is! If we had an easily accessible G-spot we'd be lucky to make it to work everyday! Thats why its hidden Kato! [^] :D
All you need is a great set of "Man Boobs"and you'd never go out again. lol.;)

[Jockney Rebel]

right i reckon mother nature is a sick fucker who got stioned one day and designed the human race s genetalia and sexual responses just to wind us up,
1.we are oneof the only species on the planet who has sex for pleasure only
2.during which we are bombarded by endorphins which only makes us want it more ..
3.the female of the species plumbing is overly complicated and prone to breakdowns
4.the males plumbing is entirely exposed and vunerable [but yet he was originally designed to fight ]

which brings me to the question of sexual responses :imagine if u will..that we had a 'season' like alot of other mammmals wouldnt that make sex much more accessible and ?if a bit dangerous!
3weeks of the month we d be perfectly rational ..and be able to comfortably sort our problems out without the constant urges etc ,
then one week a month all hell breaks loose lol i reckon for single blokes it would solve a hell of a lot of problems ..lol but on the other hand the guys who have teenage daughters would have to buy shotguns and barricade em in evry 3weeks ..and then thered be the stench of males pissing on ur doorstep to contend with lol

[gixkat]

personally i love anal sex:D..................................why i'd fuck my missus up the arse every night if she'd let me;)

[Matt]

Geez Shadowzone, come into the 20th century man. I sure hope none of your kids turn out gay, that attitude is gonna seriously fuck them up.

[ashcook]

quote:Originally posted by gixkat

personally i love anal sex:D..................................why i'd fuck my missus up the arse every night if she'd let me;)


The every now and then acceptance is not too bad though!

[Fight_fan]

quote:Originally posted by KATO ZX7


quote:Originally posted by Fight_fan


quote:Originally posted by KATO ZX7

Well who's missin out.
You do now that a guys g-spot is up his arse??
Why is it so...........???


I do kno it up there, but could u imagine if it was within reach normally? Guys are bad enough when it comes to masturbation as it is! If we had an easily accessible G-spot we'd be lucky to make it to work everyday! Thats why its hidden Kato! [^] :D
All you need is a great set of "Man Boobs"and you'd never go out again. lol.;)


Too late Kato! Got a gr8 set! [^] If ur lucky I may even whip em out @ the NFR! [:p]

[Shadowzone]

quote:Originally posted by Matt

Geez Shadowzone, come into the 20th century man. I sure hope none of your kids turn out gay, that attitude is gonna seriously fuck them up.


Mate did I upset your sensibilities? You can't argue the logic in it can you?

I am actually in the 21st Century. And I don't go out Gay Bashing or anything like that, I just simply have my point of view and that's how it is. I don't judge them for being whatever they want, but I do get offended when they try to convince me that "it's natural". I have never had one yet who could refute my argument. Therefore I make no apologies for being right. Which in this case I quite obviously am. Redneck or not, my argument makes sense mate. Oh and my kids will be well educated on the point should I ever have any don't worry, they won't be messed up. They will always know they have the right to choose their actions and loving parents there for them. Can't ask for more than that can you?

[-Dex-]

quote:Originally posted by Shadowzone
Makes perfect sense really. Since our education system perpetrates the lie that "Homosexuality is Natural." They realise that poofters have anal sex and therefore think about it in context with themselves.

Now before the PC crowd jump up and down and get told to go jump because I called the bluff of the perverts who are homo's let me disprove this theory in one short logical sentence -

If the entire world, i.e; every man and woman on the planet were to engage solely in homosexual intercourse it would eradicate the entire population of the human species in one generation. Therefore it is NOT natural.

Sorry but I'll never concede to anyone being able to prove to me otherwise as with that argument it isn't possible.


Well, I highly doubt that I'm going to change your mind but the very premise of your argument is flawed for two reasons.

ONE: You have made an unfair, and frankly unrealistic, differentiation between sex for procreation and sex for fun.

Your argument falls down with the word "solely". Very few heterosexual people on earth have sex "solely" for procreative purposes. You could also argue that if everyone had sex using condoms then theoretically the population would be wiped out too. Basically it's a nonsensical argument that will never in a million years come to pass and does not in any way negate homosexuality.

TWO: OK, lets theorise that your fag world did happen and we all started craving the buttsecs. Have you heard of artificial insemination? The human race would not just die out, we have the scientific means to keep our population afloat indefinitely. So in your situation, who cares if everyone is riding the peanut butter trail? The population is safe with a visit to the clinic. You wouldn't even have to look at a woman if you were that offended by them.



Before the advent of Christianity, the majority of "civilised" societies were pro homo. The Romans, Greeks, Spaniards, Japanese were all openly bisexual if not flaming as was considered the social norm.

Sorry dude but your argument is based on a hypothetical scenario that will simply never be. It's like me saying that if everyone in China jumped at exactly the same time then they would knock the earth off it's axis, so let's nuke China, just in case. Ricoculous.

[Shadowzone]

Dex - you've misunderstood the meaning of the word solely. I never put forward the argument that heterosexuals don't have sex for fun. Not once. You have added that in. I simply stated that should the entire world engage in intercourse with their own sex and not that of the opposite sex then the world would be devoid of human life in one generation.

The rest of your argument is starting to read a bit too much like a sci fi book, can't think of it's name right now but one in particular where the babies were made in a factory everyone shagged everyone else and 2 of them escaped after falling in love which was forbidden. Well except for the history lesson during which you forgot to mention the Arabs, Turks,and most of the other middle eastern cultures too. I'm still not buying what you're selling though.

In short let's simply agree to disagree. I find your arguments invalid, you find mine invalid. therefore as we're at an impass it's easier for us to not bother.

And hey let's get back to the original topic which is clits. they're a much nicer thought than two blokes doing whatever it is they feel like getting up to...

[ashcook]

yeah clits are great! I like clits, a lot. Whats everyones thoughts on licking them? And how about another spanner in the works, girls licking other girls clits. What about inviting a second clit into the bedroom, who has been there?

[-Dex-]

Shadowzone, It's a deal mister.

Ashcook, I live in hope.

[zx12argh]

Whatever you guys reckon - I think we should nuke china just to be safe.

[Matt]

quote:Originally posted by zx12argh

Whatever you guys reckon - I think we should nuke china just to be safe.


Hahaha good call.

Anyway where were we....oh thats right, talking about clits.... I can never find the bloody things :D

[ashcook]

[/quote]

Hahaha good call.

Anyway where were we....oh thats right, talking about clits.... I can never find the bloody things :D
[/quote]

Get your misses to point it out, if not watch lots and lots of porn, if she gets upset, say its all in research for her

[Shadowzone]

More fun watching the Mrs point it out. Works for me :)[:p]:)

[Jockney Rebel]

..isnt it strange how two fannys can taste completely different especially when uve got them side by side for a comparison.....[2002 london riverside apartment ,a date that will go down in my personal history ]anyway about clits ......

[ashcook]

alright, there's the first one to say yes they have done that, well done!

I've got the go ahead but need to find the right one to join in. Suggestions?

[Lucas]

quote:Originally posted by Jockney Rebel

..isnt it strange how two fannys can taste completely different especially when uve got them side by side for a comparison.....[2002 london riverside apartment ,a date that will go down in my personal history ]anyway about clits ......




Thanks Jimmi..I needed a stupid, hysterical giggle.[:p]

[Merlyn]

quote:Originally posted by Shadowzone



The rest of your argument is starting to read a bit too much like a sci fi book, can't think of it's name right now but one in particular where the babies were made in a factory everyone shagged everyone else and 2 of them escaped after falling in love which was forbidden.


Brave New World :)

[Jockney Rebel]

seriously tho as we all know ur only as good as the woman ur with if she aint into it ull never be a hero in the sack ..but,,,,get the right one and bingo imho i find with most girls , at the appropriate moment a little gentle flick[preferrably with the tip of ur tongue ] under the aforementioned appendage usually works ..that gets the motor hummin,...but u still gotta use some finesse to get that far in the first place

[Merlyn]

hair or no hair? it changes everything

[SatinFS]

I second that rat boy

[ashcook]

all chicks are different, some are easy, others hold back to much to allow anything to happen. Its all in their mind, if they aren't into it, it aint going to happen for you. They aren't like blokes who could get hard at a picture of a tit, they got to work up to it. No point, just knowing what the fuck it is, got to know how to work your woman.

[TurboKat]

What's a clitoris & where's mine [?]

[ashcook]

sometimes they are give aways with cereal, other times they are a buy one get one free at bunnings

[Lucas]

hair or no hair......just a little 'go fast strip'

None of that werewolf incarnate bellybutton to knees growth[xx(]

[Jockney Rebel]

hair dont bother me [u gotta remember im European lol AND raised in the 70's]anyway it cant hide from the trusty ex-wd night vision goggles..

[Iceman]

Darren you don't have one, coz like the female orgasm it's just a myth.;) lol

[Shadowzone]

quote:Originally posted by Merlyn


quote:Originally posted by Shadowzone



The rest of your argument is starting to read a bit too much like a sci fi book, can't think of it's name right now but one in particular where the babies were made in a factory everyone shagged everyone else and 2 of them escaped after falling in love which was forbidden.


Brave New World :)



Thanks Merlyn.

New I wasn't imagining reading that one. All I could think of when typing that was 1984 though and I new that wasn't the right one.


Onto the topic at hand - I prefer hairy ones cause I don't like little girls. And apart from that traction is good. Feels better in my opinion.

Ash - try MikesPlace if you're up for that or I can PM you my ex fiancees number. She don't mind a carpet munch. Just don't mention my name. She's still cut cause I dumped her and that was almost 2yrs ago...

[Merlyn]

Two very important books all people should read. And glad to help :)

I have nothing against homosexuality, some of my friends are lesbians, but that doesnt mean they wanna do me... although one or two might ;)[:I]

[ashcook]

I hadn't seen mikesplace before, not really down with that idea. It was the wife who put this idea out there. I just don't know how to go about it. I'm not real keen on the drunk or drugged out experience as I never fucking remember anything and where I live isn't small but still everyone knows fucking everyone. Who knows, it may never happen. Might have to wait for a trip somewhere, where no one knows you. I don't really care, but if the opportunity comes up, I'm definitely in.