Porn stash

[ashcook]

Hey guys,

I wanted to ask your opinions and some tips if you have them. Our son is 11 and really stating to get into chicks, what the fuck do I do to keep out of our porn stash? Taking a look at a picture mag or something laying is no drama, but I don't want him learning all about it by watching some chick take it off 10 or more guys in every hole she has. We haven't caught him into the DVDs yet but he knows they exist, he's not dumb, but there's a good collection and fucked if I'm getting rid of them!

[336LJ]

It doesnt matter where you hide them. if a kid can find xmas presents. they will find your porn stash.
either lock them in a tool box that cant be moved (or a gun cabinet) and have the only key on your keychain, or in a hiding spot in the shed.

or give them to him on his 13th Bday in preperation for being a teenager!

If he doesnt find your stash theres still the hundreds of free porn sites on the internet, and friends who can get the goods.
You cant stop the unstoppable.

[timbo]

Do you have a gun safe?:)

[EFE 1230]

You could buy a suitably sized "BEER FRIDGE" fit it with a padlock and lock it away there???

[ashcook]

na, I don't have one. The tool box is huge but its full. Some of his friends actually got in strife at school for bringing porn in their lunch box. Plus if I have to stash them in the shed, it would be like putting on a condom, total mood killer if me or the misses has to go out into the shed to get something to watch

[ashcook]

want to be a big beer fridge, everyone will think I'm brewing for tooheys

[devo]

Only one solution. You will have to let me look after them for you :D

[ashcook]

ha, only if you let me borrow yours in the meantime, but stick them in something like a educational DVD case or something. Maybe that might be the trick

[Azrael]

Disposing of or hiding porn is akin to getting rid of chemical weapons or nuclear waste, anywhere you put it u run the risk of discovery, humiliation and without fail contamination of an innocent population..
Good luck with that!

[kevkatana]

quote:Originally posted by ashcook

...stick them in something like a educational DVD case or something...

Put 'em in lame arse movie covers or soppy shit chick flicks. The boy wouldn't dare look in that sort of crap:D

[_M_]

lol, i used to be the school dealer, for this shite. (worked at a newsagent), also gave tips on how to find and stash the product.

[ashcook]

if I found out he stole some to sell, i'd fucking kill him, you know how dear the decent stuff is

[pt]

mate the only reason to hide it is so he doesnt know YOU have it. that would be the main reason for me. think about how easy it is to find porn on the net. add one 11 year old boy who hasn't seen boobs yet. he's gonna see it anyway.....

[_M_]

And if hes smart you will never know that he's found your stash aswell

A good Father would sit down and watch 1 with his Son,while explaining all about the Birds and the Bee's and the Donkey's and all the other farm animals. My olds found 1 of mine (Tricky Trio) in the shed when i was in Highschool,...they just kept it.

[Lucas]

Thought about that one too, not too sure where I'll hide them when the kids get old enough to start diging about.

Hide them in old covers, cassablanca, sound of music etc. They'll be safe as houses unless he decides to take those "old, shit movies no one wants to watch and mum and dad won't notice" to cashies to get some friday night beer money

[evilkarl]

Ashcook
There are some pretty intelligent Routers and Firewall software around at the moment that will block most of the bad (good?) stuff out there on the web. Its more or less a set and forget item but will only work on your network meaning you can't control what goes on at a friends house. Let me know if you want more information.

[ashcook]

Your right about the net, but he's been in enough strife before about things he has done and knows now that we can see what he looks at. It wasn't porn, he was obsessed about online games and knicked our credit card details to join a site. So he got banned from the computer for anything but school work. The computer is in our bedroom so he can't get away with it here. But like you said, any other place we have no control. But fuck, I know what we got up to when we were kids and at our mates places.

I really couldn't care less if he came a across a mag or was sneaking a look at some boobs, they are just boobs. What kid at any age doesn't like a look at some boobs. My main concern is about the hardcore stuff. But i'm thinking different covers are going to be the trick. I don't have any old crappy movies, I do have a heap of old dirt bike dvds, he'll never look in them. As much as I have tried, he has no interest at all in anything with an engine. If it doesn't start out with a playstation game then he wont pay attention.

[zx12argh]

Mate - just make a video of yourself and your missus at it, burn it to a DVD and put it in a prominent location around the house with Porn written all over it.

Chances are he'll watch it and be too scared to go through your stuff again. Probably be turned off sex for at least 5-6 years as well.

[latheboy]

quote:Originally posted by zx12argh

Mate - just make a video of yourself and your missus at it, burn it to a DVD and put it in a prominent location around the house with Porn written all over it.

Chances are he'll watch it and be too scared to go through your stuff again. Probably be turned off sex for at least 5-6 years as well.


BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

[Ross_247]

get him a blow up doll and let him go for it !

[Rocket]

quote:Originally posted by zx12argh

Mate - just make a video of yourself and your missus at it, burn it to a DVD and put it in a prominent location around the house with Porn written all over it.

Chances are he'll watch it and be too scared to go through your stuff again. Probably be turned off sex for at least 5-6 years as well.


Or Two Girls, One Cup.

[Fight_fan]

quote:Originally posted by Ross_247

get him a blow up doll and let him go for it !


Dont u just love parenting advice ASF style! Lol! ;)

[SatinFS]

quote:Originally posted by zx12argh

Mate - just make a video of yourself and your missus at it, burn it to a DVD and put it in a prominent location around the house with Porn written all over it.

Chances are he'll watch it and be too scared to go through your stuff again. Probably be turned off sex for at least 5-6 years as well.


I agree with this idea,
my dad locked an x rated video in the safe, and i still found a way to get it, switch the labels with another movie and keep it hahaha

[Shadowzone]

Every single mate of mine knew exactly where the porn was stashed in their parents house. I grew up in a very religious home with parents ho never owned any (I know I ransacked the entire house looking for it.)

Keep some softcore stuff (You know the rubbish R-rated kind)around in the easiest hiding spot and the hardcore stuff well hidden away. Then he'll think all you have is the softcore kind and voila. Problem solvered...

Oh and when your done can I borrow your copy of maximum perversion IV please?

[ashcook]

quote:Originally posted by zx12argh

Mate - just make a video of yourself and your missus at it, burn it to a DVD and put it in a prominent location around the house with Porn written all over it.

Chances are he'll watch it and be too scared to go through your stuff again. Probably be turned off sex for at least 5-6 years as well.


hahaha, he's already walked in many times and caught us. The first time he did I was getting a blowie. Fuck that was funny! now he knows, if the doors is shut, stay the fuck away

This is great advice. Maybe we should start a dedicated parenting column?

[ashcook]

quote:[i]

Oh and when your done can I borrow your copy of maximum perversion IV please?




I don't have that but I did get a pretty good one recently. Its "Belladonna fuck me" thats well worth a watch

[xb9r]

Mate stash it in the roof it took me and my mates ages to figure that spot the old porn in the manhole trick ;)

[ashcook]

ha, this is hilarious. I was missing out when I was a kid, my parents were straighter than straight.

[EFE 1230]

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/53632178012943.jpg

Why not knock up some "security" shelving???

[ashcook]

Thats good, I like that, especially your artistic view, thats gold!. I think the roof idea may work for now. we have a blanket cupboard that is near our room that goes into the roof. Think that might be the trick.

Whats surprising me though is every one is giving me ideas and thanks for that, but does no one else have any porn? I know it can be taboo especially in some relationships but I can't be the only one who watches it with the missus? Can I?

[EFE 1230]

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/53632178056042.jpg

[Shadowzone]

Nah mate I used to watch and own heaps. Had quite a few ex's who enjoyed watching the stuff several who liked the girl girl ones as much as they liked other girls, but for now I got rid of my stash mnths ago. Gave it away. Got boring.

[ashcook]

yeah same old same old. I've downloaded a few, freshen things up.

[EFE 1230]

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/53632178034556.jpg

Shadowzone???????

[ashcook]

hahahahaha, nothing like discreet!

[Chucky]

turn him Gay, he wont watch em then.....:D

[BANDITROD]

when i was a young buck i got caught smoking and i was forced to smoke a whole pack of camel ciggys which made me very sick so maybe if you give him the whole stash to look at then he will get it out of his system and instead of bashiong the meat 20 times a day he will only bash it 5 times a day ........just a thought;):D

[Shadowzone]

quote:Originally posted by EFE 1230

http://www.streetfighters.com.au/forum/upload/53632178034556.jpg

Shadowzone???????



Close but no cigar.

I don't have purple hair....

And I gave them to a mate him and his Mrs enjoy them now...

[Lucas]

Got a pile not hidden, just in with the 'normal' dvd's. They'll get put away in a few years or when in inlaws / parents baby sit.

[Azrael]

Your wasting your time, children have in built detectors for porn, alcohol, loose change, anything sweet, firearms and homeless animals. Your fucked, you may as well hand it to him or burn it.

[Lucas]

quote:Originally posted by Azrael

Your wasting your time, children have in built detectors for porn, alcohol, loose change, anything sweet, firearms and homeless animals. Your fucked, you may as well hand it to him or burn it.


True, I always found my dad's coin, porn and guns, homeless animals usually ended up road kill after the b-double cattle trucks came through, alcohol doesn't last long enough around my old man for me to ever be able to get into it, can't remember sweet things as a kid(little country town, didn't have sick fuckers in Bedfords:D;))

[boris]

I have a big old style bookcase that has like an arcatrave (fucked if I know how to spell that) around the top hence a perfect hidey hole and unless my teenage kids actually go and dust the furniture in the lounge room they won't see them

[Jay_G]

err i wouldnt count on that, when i was a younger fella i looked everywhere for stuff especially around christmas, found my presents for christmas every year from about the age 10. mum learnt to wrap them before she got them home when i hit about 14