appo
30-11-2007, 11:07 AM
Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the 2007 Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least-evolved among us.
And this year's glorious Winner is:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-
cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The
company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look
for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The
chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to
find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers
to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how
he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving
train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock
bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole
event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran.
The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'
9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m.,
flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the
man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
******THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said
that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in a very long time.
And this year's glorious Winner is:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-
cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The
company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look
for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The
chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to
find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers
to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how
he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving
train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock
bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole
event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran.
The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'
9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m.,
flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the
man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
******THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said
that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in a very long time.