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barknmad
07-06-2007, 11:56 AM
A duck walks into a pub and orders a schooner of beer and a ham
sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, "But you're a duck".
"I see your eyes are working", replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are working", says the duck, "Now can I have my beer
and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly", says the barman, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get
many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?".

"I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck.
Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.The
Ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the barman says to him
"You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just
brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call".

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey
Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good
money!"

"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus", says the barman.

"The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right", replies the barman.

"The circus?" the duck asks again.

"Yes" says the barman

"That place with the big tent?" the duck enquires.

"Yeah" the barman replies.

"With all the animals?" the duck questioned.

"Of Course" the barman replies.

"With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle", asks the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck looks confused.

"What the f*ck would they want with a plasterer?

Johnnay
09-06-2007, 05:40 PM
And the next day a grasshopper walked into the bar and the barman said "Hey, we have a drink named after you..."

The grasshopper looked at him a moment, and said "You have a drink named Bill???"...

:D

Docktor
09-06-2007, 06:38 PM
This bloke is rooting a fat chick and he asks if he can turn the light off.she says , Oh you are the shy type ?. He says nup its burnin my ass..

fimpBIKES
09-06-2007, 07:06 PM
then the next day...

Iceman, Crazymofo and Chalky walk into a bar.

After they drink a couple of beers they are ready to leave, but the bartender won't let them unless they have 12 inches of dick between them.

Iceman whips his out and shows 6 inches.

Crazymofo drops his pants and shows 5 inches.

Finally, Chalky removes a large sock from his RickyMartin pants then shows his 1 inch dick.

The bartender says "Ok, thats 12 inches you can go".

As the're walking away Iceman says to Chalky, "Thank god you had a boner or we'd still be there."



:D:D:D:D:D

gibbo
09-06-2007, 09:11 PM
Wait a minute, Chalky had a boner [?] must have been the viagra[:0]