PDA

View Full Version : Vaseline



Gix11
10-04-2007, 12:36 PM
Bill wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day; he comes across a Streetfighter with a 'For Sale ' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks he seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the polished bits. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Bill a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they ride the bike there.But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says,
"I have to tell you something about my family before we go in."

"When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks,dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Bill decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and has sex with her right there,in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her Mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Bill remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts,
"All right damn it, thats enough, I'll do the fucking dishes!"

fimpBIKES
10-04-2007, 06:06 PM
oooh lucky there
cos sounds like he was about to do the dad

dont think he wouldve appreciated the ol' "oneupthebumnobabies" routine :D

AU1FORME
10-04-2007, 09:33 PM
On ya Si good one

pesh
10-04-2007, 09:40 PM
hahaha pissa ... good as

Docktor
10-04-2007, 10:22 PM
quote:Originally posted by fimpBIKES



dont think he wouldve appreciated the ol' "oneupthebumnobabies" routine :D


Lotsa kiwi girls i have met prefer that mode of delivery so to speak..and just for the record i woulda done the dishes as well

10-04-2007, 10:28 PM
quote:Originally posted by Docktor


quote:Originally posted by fimpBIKES



dont think he wouldve appreciated the ol' "oneupthebumnobabies" routine :D


Lotsa kiwi girls i have met prefer that mode of delivery so to speak..and just for the record i woulda done the dishes as well



You gotta keep your hands off the chocolate ones mate (excuse the pun)

Docktor
10-04-2007, 10:34 PM
yeah, i hear them chocolate ones will stretch ya like a goatse........