BillyWhizz888
17-01-2007, 07:59 AM
Two elderly gents., Bert and Harry, were sitting on a bench in the shade of an old oak tree in their local park on a warm and sunny summers day. Bert turned to his friend and said, "You know 'Arry, it's really 'ard getting old. I can only walk short distances now, - and I 'ave to use a stick. I sleep badly at night and when I get up in the mornings these days I find that I've got aches and pains all over, -and they just stay with me all day. 'Ow do you feel, 'Arry ?"
"I feel just like a three month old baby, Bert" said Harry.
"What do you mean, you feel like a three month old baby, 'Arry ! " retorted Bert.
"Well, I've no teeth, no hair,- and think I've just peed myself,again".
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A 90 year old man goes to see his G.P. for a routine, full physical check up.
About a week later the Doctor passed the old man on the other side of their local High Street smiling and happy, leaning on the arm of a very sexy looking 20-something black girl.The Doctor was puzzled, but being a busy man thought no more about it until he bumped into the old boy outside the local supermarket a week or so later. The Doctor then recalled the incident which he had seen the previous week. He stopped the old boy.
"You seemed to be very pleased with life when I spotted you in the High Street last week with a nubile young lady on your arm, - but what on earth did you think you were doing ?"
"I was just following your advice,Doctor",the old man replied, "Don't you remember ? You said get a hot momma . Be cheerful ?"
The Doctor rolled his eyes, "No ! No! I said 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful !"
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Elderly man limps into the local ice cream parlour /cafe and goes up to the counter where he drags himself up painfully and with much grimacing onto one of the fixed high bar stools. He ordered a raspberry sundae from the young lady assistant, who immediately started to prepare his order.
"Crushed nuts ?" she asked kindly.
"No. Arthritis! " came the reply.
"I feel just like a three month old baby, Bert" said Harry.
"What do you mean, you feel like a three month old baby, 'Arry ! " retorted Bert.
"Well, I've no teeth, no hair,- and think I've just peed myself,again".
.................................................. .................................................. ..................................
A 90 year old man goes to see his G.P. for a routine, full physical check up.
About a week later the Doctor passed the old man on the other side of their local High Street smiling and happy, leaning on the arm of a very sexy looking 20-something black girl.The Doctor was puzzled, but being a busy man thought no more about it until he bumped into the old boy outside the local supermarket a week or so later. The Doctor then recalled the incident which he had seen the previous week. He stopped the old boy.
"You seemed to be very pleased with life when I spotted you in the High Street last week with a nubile young lady on your arm, - but what on earth did you think you were doing ?"
"I was just following your advice,Doctor",the old man replied, "Don't you remember ? You said get a hot momma . Be cheerful ?"
The Doctor rolled his eyes, "No ! No! I said 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful !"
.................................................. .................................................. ...........................
Elderly man limps into the local ice cream parlour /cafe and goes up to the counter where he drags himself up painfully and with much grimacing onto one of the fixed high bar stools. He ordered a raspberry sundae from the young lady assistant, who immediately started to prepare his order.
"Crushed nuts ?" she asked kindly.
"No. Arthritis! " came the reply.