BillyWhizz888
02-12-2006, 08:20 AM
Theres three blokes in the amazon that get captured by a tribe of cannibals. The chief of the tribe showed them all the weapons and equipment they had taken from previous meals and told them that they could each choose one item, and would be given 10 minute to get away. After that, the cannibals would chase them down, kill them, eat them and make canoes from their skin.
The first bloke goes up and selects a machine gun, and runs off, until he gets to undergrowth so thick he cant get through, and the cannibals catch up. He starts shooting madly, and manages to kill 30 of them, until he runs out of ammo and the natives kill him, eat him and make a canoe from his skin.
2nd bloke goes up, and seeing what happened to the first guy, he grabs a machete. When he gets to the thick undergrowth, he hacks his way through till he finds a river infested with crocodiles. He cant cross and the cannibals catch up, and he only kills 3 before the cannibals kill him, eat him and make a canoe from his skin
The 3rd bloke has been watching all this, and thinks for a long time what hes gonna do. Finally, he goes up and selects a fork. The cannibals start laughing and ask him how he's gonna escape with a fork. The guy grabs the fork and starts stabbing himself and says "You're not making a fcuking canoe out of me you bastards
Now this will confuse you all!!!!
A French, a German, and a Russian go on a safari and are trapped by cannibals. They are brought to the chief, who says, "We are going to eat you right now. But I am a civilized man, I studied human rights at the Practice Lumumba University in Moscow, so I'll grant each of you a last request."
The German asks for a mug of beer and a bratwurst. He gets it, and cannibals eat him.
The French asks for three girls. He has crazy sex with them, and then follows the German.
The Russian asks: "Hit me hard, right on my nose." ...The chief is surprised, but hits him. The Russian pulls out a Kalashnikov and shoots all the cannibals. The mortally wounded chief asks him: "Why didn't you do this before we ate the German?", the Russian proudly replies: "Russians are not aggressors!"
The first bloke goes up and selects a machine gun, and runs off, until he gets to undergrowth so thick he cant get through, and the cannibals catch up. He starts shooting madly, and manages to kill 30 of them, until he runs out of ammo and the natives kill him, eat him and make a canoe from his skin.
2nd bloke goes up, and seeing what happened to the first guy, he grabs a machete. When he gets to the thick undergrowth, he hacks his way through till he finds a river infested with crocodiles. He cant cross and the cannibals catch up, and he only kills 3 before the cannibals kill him, eat him and make a canoe from his skin
The 3rd bloke has been watching all this, and thinks for a long time what hes gonna do. Finally, he goes up and selects a fork. The cannibals start laughing and ask him how he's gonna escape with a fork. The guy grabs the fork and starts stabbing himself and says "You're not making a fcuking canoe out of me you bastards
Now this will confuse you all!!!!
A French, a German, and a Russian go on a safari and are trapped by cannibals. They are brought to the chief, who says, "We are going to eat you right now. But I am a civilized man, I studied human rights at the Practice Lumumba University in Moscow, so I'll grant each of you a last request."
The German asks for a mug of beer and a bratwurst. He gets it, and cannibals eat him.
The French asks for three girls. He has crazy sex with them, and then follows the German.
The Russian asks: "Hit me hard, right on my nose." ...The chief is surprised, but hits him. The Russian pulls out a Kalashnikov and shoots all the cannibals. The mortally wounded chief asks him: "Why didn't you do this before we ate the German?", the Russian proudly replies: "Russians are not aggressors!"