JOKE

[damo1]

theres two guys

1st guy is walking a type rope across the grand canyon

2nd guy is getting a blow job off a 80 year old woman with no teeth

there both thinking the same thing what is it?

Dont look down!

[damo1]

Son says to his old man have you ever seen a a vigina before its had sex?

father: says yes its a beutiful thing nice and pink perfect little line down the
center and covered in a lovly coating of fur.

Son: have you seen won after sex?

Father:yes i have, just think of a bulldog chooing a mouth full of custurd

[TurboKat]

Bloody hell Damo, some bad mental images going on there [xx(]

[Razorback]

ROFL... I still like Davos "gutted rabbit" best

I got another 1..."Honda",...yes thats the punch line.:D

[NakedTurboBusa]

I have 2 jokes that normally get me kicked and punched in the bra burning circles and beyond!!! remember they are only jokes!!!

Whats black and blue and does not like sex............ A rape victim !!

Whats about 1 1/5 feet long, and makes a women scream in the morning....... Cot death!!

You're a farkin sick bastard Naked!!!!!!!!!






Keep it up :D

[BOHEMION]

Oh Ive gots afew of them and yes i never get laughs from the family wat the Christmas dinner party

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!

What's bright blue, pink, and sizzles?
A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.

What do broccoli and anal sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you won't like it as an adult.

What do you do after you’ve raped a deaf and dumb girl?....
Break her fingers so she can’t tell her mum!!

[Razorback]

Well since the ones I have are mild in comparison I guess I can get away with it... I tell these ones to my computer students :D

Whats the difference between a blonde and a keyboard ?
You only have to punch the information into the keyboard ONCE!

How do you know a blonde has been using your PC ?
Whiteout on the screen.

:)

[Large]

What's the only thing stopping a woman's guts from sliding out of her vag?





The vaccuum in her head

[BOHEMION]

How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?
The hotdogs all taste like shit!

[BOHEMION]

Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks. Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water.

"Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender.

The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"

[BOHEMION]

A man walks past an ice cream stand that advertises, "Every flavour ice cream in the world."

"Bullshit," thinks the man and walks in. "So you say you have every flavour ice cream in the world?" "O.K., I would like three scoops of cunt flavoured ice cream please."

"No problem sir." The assistant gives the man three scoops of ice cream in a cone and the man takes a good lick.

Grimacing, he says, "This doesn't taste like cunt, it tastes like shit!" The assistant replies,

"Of course it tastes like shit when you take such long licks!"

[dRRew]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg my ribs hurt.. the tea one and the last one HAHAHAHAHAHA so good. GOLD.:D

[damo1]

old paddy goes into the same bar every day and orders three beers and sits down in the corner on his own to drinks them
the barman says to him one day "why do you buy three beers at a time"
paddy says "it remindes me of being home in ireland and drinking with my brothers mick and joc"
barman says "fare enough"
one day paddy comes in and only orders two beers
barman says "only two beers today hope there hasnt been a death in the family"
paddy says"no doctor told me to lay off the beer for a while but thats not stopping mick and joc"

[Iceman]

A hostel for poofs and lesbians catches fire in the middle of the night. Who gets out first?




The poofs of course they had their shit packed before they went to sleep!

[Iceman]

How do you know when it's time for bed at Michael Jackson's house?


When the big hand touches the little hand.

[Razorback]

What do Santa and Michael Jackson have in common ?




They both sneak into kids rooms and leave with an empty sack [B)]

[NakedTurboBusa]

little billy was in the shower with his mum, he looked up and said, 'mum,whats that!'. Mum said 'thats where me and your father were chopping fire wood and he slipped and got me with the axe....... Billy said 'fucken hell, he hit you fair in the cunt!.

[suxukifreak]

[xx(][V]:([}:)]:(;)

[Large]

Picture the scene:

It's a beautiful Autumn morning on the Gold Coast in 2035...Two old pissheads (Davo And Si) have been kicked out of their beds in the skip bins behind Palace Versace, and are stumbling up the road....Just then Davo spies a massive plie of vomit on the manicured footpath....

Davo "Si mate...I'm fucking peckish...so I might go some of that...do you want some?"

Si "Nah matey... you go for it."

Davo bends over and quickly scoops handfulls of chunder into his mouth....

...sure enough, within seconds Davo is spewing up all the vomit back onto the footpath...whereapon Si is on his hands and knees gobbling all of it up...

Davo " I thought you weren't hungry"

Si " I didn't want to eat it cold"

[ozkat]

Q.Why do pooftas use ribbed condoms?




A.Better traction in the mud.

[BOHEMION]

Two sanitary pads were floating down a sewer drain and were approaching two tampons. Before the pads and tampons reached each other, one pad said to the other,

"Should we say hi to those 2 tampons?"

The other pad responded, "Err, nah... they're stuck up cunts."

[Gix11]

What do you mean 2035? That was last Sunday.

[Bucko]

How do you stop a baby crawling in circles?
Nail it's other hand to the floor.

[nos_james]

whats the diffrence between an abbo and a park bench, a park bench can support a whole family

[damo1]

a lady lying in a hospital bed has a spiritual experiance

"lord am i going to die" she asks

"no you still have 43yrs 64days 11hours and 16 seconds to live"he says

she gets out of hospital and thinks if ive got so long to go ill get some
cosmetic surgery done to make myself look younger.
so she goes and gets

boob job,face lift,chin lift,tummy tuck,lipo suction on her arse and legs,
colijin injections in her lips and cheeks,new hair colour and cut

after all this she leaves the cosmetic hospital thinking shes looking really hot
and get hit by a bus and killed

she says to god when she gets vto heaven"i thought you said i had heaps of time left"

he says "sorry i didn't recognize you"

[Tony Nitrous]

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/2041/lions1wg.gif

[Kawakasbeeotch]

i got 1

2 gay condoms are walkin down the street an they pass a gay bar, the first condom says to the other, "Wanna go in there and get shit-faced"

[kevkatana]

An adorable little girl, all blonde curls and blue eyes walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper's heart melts and he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like
that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"

She, blushing, rocks on her
heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet
voice,

"I don't fink my python weally gives a phuck."

[BillyWhizz888]

Whats Black, White & Red
and cant turn around in corridors........

A nun with a spear through her head :D

[monogone]

Whats the first thing a woman does after she comes out of a domestic violence clinic?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her!

[monogone]

Whats the difference between Pity & Shame?

When a busload of abo's crashes with no survivors, thats a pity! When you find out 3 actually survived, that's a Shame!