There were these 3 men in a pub....

[Tony Nitrous]

An Englishman, Irishman and an Australian are in a bar,
They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
He's so familiar, and not recognizing him is driving them mad.
They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs "MY GOD, ITS JESUS!"
Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Bitter, a pint of Guinness and a pint of Fosters.
Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.

After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Englishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Bitter.
When he lets go the Englishman gives a cry of amazement "MY GOD! THE ARTHRITIS I'V HAD FOR 30 YEARS IS GONE. ITS A MIRACLE!"

Jesus then shakes the hand of the Irishman, thanking him for the Guinness. As he lets go, the man's eye's widen in shock. "STREWTH MATE, THE BAD BACK I'V HAD ALL MY LIFE IS COMPLETELY GONE, IT'S A MIRACLE."

Jesus then approaches the Aussie who says,
"BACK OFF MATE, IM ON DISABILITY."

[Tone]

....which reminds me,

a 7/11 rider after a days thrashing around country roads pulls into a well known biker pub with Harleys filling the carpark.All eyes are on him as he undoes the helmet and strolls dead casual up to the bar and orders a beer.3 big burly tattooed types walk up behind him muttering darkly about riders of jap bikes.He faces the trio of beards and says
"have you heard the one about the bikies?"
They eye him off and one of em pipes up with
"see this bloke", pointing to one of his buddies,"he was state heavyweight boxing champ,this guy",pointing to the other one,"is a fifth dan karate expert and I'm a full contact kickboxing fighter,are you sure you still wanna tell us this joke?"
The streetfighter guy has a sip of his beer and says...











"not if I have to tell it three times!"

[Tone]

....which reminds me,

a 7/11 rider after a days thrashing around country roads pulls into a well known biker pub with Harleys filling the carpark.All eyes are on him as he undoes the helmet and strolls dead casual up to the bar and orders a beer.3 big burly tattooed types walk up behind him muttering darkly about riders of jap bikes.He faces the trio of beards and says
"have you heard the one about the bikies?"
They eye him off and one of em pipes up with
"see this bloke", pointing to one of his buddies,"he was state heavyweight boxing champ,this guy",pointing to the other one,"is a fifth dan karate expert and I'm a full contact kickboxing fighter,are you sure you still wanna tell us this joke?"
The streetfighter guy has a sip of his beer and says...











"not if I have to tell it three times!"