Fucking Telstra Calling Me

[Large]

Are they all morons? Or do they think we all are?

A while back I got a call from some dopey bint saying she could save me a significant amount of money on my phone bill. Turns out there was some deal where for only $270 a quarter, I could get line rental and unlimited local calls blah blah.

I pointed out that my average quarterly bill was ~ $90 (including line rental), so I would be infact tripling my cost by accepting their most generous offer.

All she could say was "oh"




Then they rang on my non telstra mobile on Friday-

"Hi this is So and So from Telstra. Do you mind if we record the call?"

I said no I didn't mind...

Telstra guy says- "Before we start, we need to ask a couple of questions to identify you"

WTF??? I said "You rang me, and I've got to prove who I am? How do I know who you are?" then hung up


Then the cunts ring back yesterday

"Hi this is So and So from Telstra. Do you mind if we record the call?"

I said "You rang yesterday-what do you want now"

They said " We can't go any further unless you agree to us recording the call"

I said no "I don't agree...What do you want?"

They said " We can't go any further unless you agree to us recording the call"

So I hung up on them again.

If they ring back, I'll agree to them recording the call, then tell them I'm going to fuck their mother/sister/daughter or something. Lets see them use that for "training purposes"

Stupid cunts

[devo]

Worse when they call when you are in the middle of tea.:(
Gives gastric the shits , soooo I am hear'n ya Large [V]

[ALBI]

when they do call back "as they do " give them false details and see if they still talk ??

[BANDITROD]

fuck telstra i have had heaps of probs with them fucking up my acc in the past and even resulting in them sending me a cheque and this time they cut me off cos a few weeks overdue last time i spoke to them they said i had 2 strikes on my record for obusive calls to there call centre and one more strike and they would never reconnect me again so guess what i am phoneless again apparently when you tell them to shove their phone up there curry munching arse they get upset fucking black cunts can fuck off i am now waiting to hear back from the ombudsmen to see what they can do

[Large]

quote:Originally posted by BANDITROD

fuck telstra i have had heaps of probs with them fucking up my acc in the past and even resulting in them sending me a cheque and this time they cut me off cos a few weeks overdue last time i spoke to them they said i had 2 strikes on my record for obusive calls to there call centre and one more strike and they would never reconnect me again so guess what i am phoneless again apparently when you tell them to shove their phone up there curry munching arse they get upset fucking black cunts can fuck off i am now waiting to hear back from the ombudsmen to see what they can do


Fucking cunts ...fuck their eyes.

It took me 15 phone calls to telstra to get a phone line that I could get the interwebs on installed here.

The first 4 or 5 morons didn't order the right type of connection or some shit, so the phone worked, but internode couldn't hookup the web to it. That and the policy of not ringing before attending meant the techs reckoned everything was fine, but nothing was working inside.

I think it was the 11th or 12th call where some little faggotty helpdesk cockgobbler reckoned it was ALL MY FAULT for "constantly changing my order"!!!!!!! I woulda kicked the cunt in the neck if he was in front of me.

I hadn't changed anything...I just wanted a phone line that worked, with the ability to get on the web. It was all the morons at telstra that kept fucking it up.

Now it looks like they're trying to win back customers.

fucking lol.

[BANDITROD]

they are a pack of cunts the only time i get it sorted is when i ask for a aussie thats speaks english not papadam english.. mother fuckers the last one that come to my door told me that i was rude and i shouldnt talk to people at the door like that so i told him to give me his address so i could bother him while he has his dinner on the table he promptly left

[Elapid]

We get calls from them a fair bit, I can't understand gooks when they try and speak english so Mrs Elapid gets the phone. If telstra were serious they'd at least try and get gooks that spoke decent english in their call centres. Its as bad as these gooks that have been here for years and when in public talk chinky chong talk instead of english-it is plain fucking rude. If they want to talk in a language other than english, fuck off back to their country of origin and take their monkey fucking aussie husbands that can't find an aussie woman to fuck with them too.

Back to telstra, I'm not a fan of them. They always manage to fuck the plan we are/were on up.

Cheers,

Happy Kris.

[Azrael]

Glad to see nothings changed, I wrote the following email rant back in 2001 and switched to iinet shortly after and havent looked back. fuck telstra..

To say Telstra are nothing more than a pack of thieving fucken cock badgering cuntnuts doesn’t come close to illustrating my contempt for the organisation. Oh, wait for it..
The beginning. Why? I haven’t used a Telstra phone service for over 5 years purely due to their inability to solve service malfunctions over the phone, I mean this is what you do! You are a phone and internet service provider surely you know how to operate a phone?? I have friends with children under ten who can operate not just the phone, but the email, the dvd player, the sat nav in the car and the maestro 10000 supa fucken caffinator coffee machine, and I'd ask them to help me write this but they’re online trading stock... So, my email service gets put into stasis until I get the genius staff bigpond to fix a number of problems that you would assume would be relatively easy for people trained in this area who sit at computers all day answering phones. Fuck no!
The middle. Language barriers. If you thought Esperanto was a head fuck of a language for boring sandal wearing time wasters, Telstra have come up with their own, for instance, the term "I don’t think I can help you from here sir" is actually telstra code for "I am an utter cunt" or my personal favourite "If you'll just hold the line I'll transfer you to someone who can help you" which of course translates to "I am an incompetent ballsack but even I'll seem clever in comparison to the useless tit I’m transferring you to". Seriously, not even Athena’s psychic hotline experiencing technical problems due to "unforseen" circumstances comes close to the towering irony of Australia’s biggest telecommunication company being unable to sustain a functioning web and or email service or fix the problem over the phone. Having said that, it's a relief to know that "Michelle" at bigpond technical services is answering phones and not flying commercial aircraft or performing fucken brain surgery but it gets worse. To speak to them over the phone is one thing but if you ever really want the full experience nothing compares to dropping into a telsra shop to make you feel alone in a room full of retards with the possible exception of going to a Robbie Williams concert. The best thing about telstra shops is that you’ve got the fuckers cornered..yeah..lets see you transfer me to another operator now shithead. And yes I want this conversation recorded for training purposes, in fact, lets take out the middle man and just send em straight to me, I'll train em, I know an 8 and a 6 yr old who could do that...
The end. Peaceful resolution. So, I’m back online, and despite wanting to forcibly insert a phone into someone’s skull I managed to achieve this by simply stooping to their level and speaking monosyllabically and in a slow monotone that even the most simple of these clothed apes could comprehend. Right, one more quick brainfart. It’s occurred to me that perhaps channel ten’s Big Brother programme isn’t a total waste of time and could possibly redeem itself with a 2hr special of stoving Gretel Killeen’s face in with a variety of large metal objects for crimes against entertainment AND never letting this years housemates out. EVER.. It’s an excellent idea putting these types of undesirable people in a house where they can be supervised 24hrs a day by grown ups thus keeping them off the streets where they cant annoy normal people with the kind of riveting conversation seen in previous yrs. In fact, without wanting to glorify or support terrorism, if a suicide bomb's the only way to deprive the gene pool of further BB housemate’s offspring, then so be it… This clip is unrelated to telstra or BB but I that really needed to be said and this really needs to be seen, actually its only a bit funny and I don’t get it so if someone can work out the point of making this clip I’m dying to know.. Big up Ya

[Large]

I forgot how bad telstra "shops" are.

My phone shit itself a few years back, so I rang telstra, and logged a complaint. They said I had to go to the nearest telstra shop to pick up the new handset.

So I go in the shop and there's one bloke serving and one customer. 10-15 minutes later there's still only 1 bloke serving the same customer and another 5 or 6 customers behind me.

I could hear voices coming from somewhere, so I go to the back of the shop and bang on the door....which eventually opens to show the other 3 staff are having a coffee break/chinwag....

Within a minute or so, I've got my new handset, but I've decided I don't want it anymore, so I say I want to cancel the order and I'll buy my own phone.

Unfortunately the telstra store couldn't do that for me. I was told I had to ring telstra and cancel the order, then bring the phone back- or take it to a post office.

I took the phone back to the post office and thought that was the end. Untill the next bill turned up which still included handset rental.

Another 3 calls later... it was sorted.

Why anyone who doesn't have to, still deals with telstra is beyond me.

Why telstra's share price is more than 5c is also beyond me

[Tony OW31]

Problem is endemic in the telecommunications industry though, doesn't matter which company, they're all the same (have you ever dealt with opus?). Took me 2 weeks to get a phone line turned on in my factory, and it was already there.

[BANDITROD]

i have used optus before and have nothing but praise for them after being with telstra

[Large]

quote:Originally posted by Tony OW31

Problem is endemic in the telecommunications industry though, doesn't matter which company, they're all the same (have you ever dealt with opus?). Took me 2 weeks to get a phone line turned on in my factory, and it was already there.




Did optus own the line?

[Shadowzone]

I am using a naked internode service with voip. My mobile is Telstra pre-paid and the secondary one is vodaphone pre-paid. Works well going across the Moree flats (aka buttfuck nowhere when vodaphone have full signal and Telstra has nothing.

And my phone line is with people who speak Aussie English based in Adelaide (poor cunts)..

[Booster]

After receintly changing from Telstra to Optus i'm very happy with the price & pretty happy with the service from optus.... when i get service... :(

[RevHead]

same story long,but the short my wife signed to telstra,then shit happined wasnt her fault so they cut all our services .shop ;my workshop ,anyhoo we wrote to the ombudsman in the end we won telstra lost ,,where now with optus and we 2 are very happy

[Tony OW31]

quote:Originally posted by Large


quote:Originally posted by Tony OW31

Problem is endemic in the telecommunications industry though, doesn't matter which company, they're all the same (have you ever dealt with opus?). Took me 2 weeks to get a phone line turned on in my factory, and it was already there.




Did optus own the line?






Yes they did, the previous (and original) occupant was with optus

[336LJ]

optus are just as fuckin bad as telstra - only they are initially a little bit cheaper - and their ads have animals in them to entertain the retards. they are next to EBAY on my hate list for fucked customer service.. at least optus give you the illusion that you have the ability to contact them directly.
TPG - now there's a useless bunch of fraudulent cunts

[fimpBIKES]

well, got another bill from optus on friday
$400 or so AGAIN

seems to happen every month, they get something wrong
or charge me for a service which no longer exists

bye bye optus, i can get better internet deals for PREPAID from vodaphone then i can from you on a 24month plan
why would i bother?

[OLD SKOOL BANDIT]

I had a "Deal" with AAPT for overseas calls. When I left them and paid the agreed "Payout" costs, I thought that was the end of it. When I tried for finance at a later stage it was refused. I was a bit gob smacked as my credit had always been good. After much shouting and screaming I found out that AAPT had put a black mark on my rating for the princely sum of 57 cents unpaid !! No bill no nothing. I went mental with them and had it lifted, eventually. All telcos are cunts. END OF !!

[boris]

I had a curry muncher ring a couple of months ago after I'd had a prick of a day and I was heading out the door , He says in his fucken jibber jabber that his name is Mark and he was in melbourne and he wanted to talk to me about my telstra account, So I say "mate 10 fucking times a day you cunts want to talk to me about my telstra account, mate I don't have a fucking telstra account and I'm fucking sick of the lot of you cunts and as far as I'm concerned you can all go and get fucked" his come back was"oh only 10 times a day well how does 14 times a day sound MATE get ready for that" and he hung up on me LOL I pissed myself laughing the first time one has bit back funny thing is I've probably only had about 3 or 4 calls since from them.
and Devo you think it's annoying having them call during dinner you should try being under a car or up in the dash of a car and having to crawl out and walk to the front of the shop only to find out it's a fucking telemarketer now that is a royal pain in the ass especially when it happens several times a day

[336LJ]

we used to get them at work and just go "yep hangon I'll put him on" and leave the phone off the hook for a few hours.

in a fit of rage, over having recieved an automated email telling me my TPG account was going to be "throttled" due to reaching my download limit - and not having a fuckin clue how its possible being that its so ass to fuck slow. I sent back a reply along the lines of - "how is that even possible with the shitty arse cunterised fucking broadband speed I'm subject to, tpg is fucked and you cunts stink"

I got a reply (I wasn't expecting since it was automated apparently) by email "we are sorry this caused an inconvenience, please be advised you may increase(double) your download limit without any additional fees"

So I did it, AND for some reason my account is now in credit for $6!

[fimpBIKES]

had a win with optus last night
just hold your ground and keep records of every phone call and email you have with them
oh, and keep saying "no, i get your supervisor on the phone"
dickheads, every time i call them i need an hour or two to calm down

[K6Thou]

My father had a Telstra home connection when he passed and during the course of tiding up his estate I called this pack of half wits to disconnect it and they did.

10 days later I recieved his final bill which is fair enough but 3 days after that they sent advertising pamphlets for him !!!!! fuck did I go off !! called them and being in the emotional state I was in I let fly with a torrent of abuse and thankfully havn't had anything from them since.

[hotmilk]

when they call about a 'phone deal' you just say
'oh thank fuck you called i need to leave my current telco cos my phone keeps cutting out'
and they go 'oh really? blah blah blah'
and then you just hang up on them mid sentence lol

[boris]

quote:Originally posted by K6Thou

My father had a Telstra home connection when he passed and during the course of tiding up his estate I called this pack of half wits to disconnect it and they did.

10 days later I recieved his final bill which is fair enough but 3 days after that they sent advertising pamphlets for him !!!!! fuck did I go off !! called them and being in the emotional state I was in I let fly with a torrent of abuse and thankfully havn't had anything from them since.

that is so fucked up mate

[rock hard]

this is to all the suppliers of this fuckin usless wireless network..you suck dogs dicks..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNip8ZEesow