Old Tales from the past.

[Hagarr]

Alright all you young wipper snappers, any of you 'ol fellas got some classic stories to tell these youngsters, i'll start with one from about 1982, yes that's right you young pricks 1982 not 1882, anyway here goes.

Whilst riding from Wickham to Perth on my Harris I passed (Blitzed) a couple of 'ol timers in a ute full of equipment, looked like a couple of old gold fosickers, great couple of old fellas, just before a servo and of course needed to pull in for fuel and a bit of a rest, as I'm at the bowser one of the old fella's walks over and says, nice bike fella I used to ride, what the hell is it?, I used to own a Beeza Blah Blah Blah and so he went on with some great old storys about what he used to do and he asks "Geez you must have been flying when you passed me, how fast were you goin'""
I nonchantly said "Oh about 120-130" . He says seemed more than that to me, I said "Oh sorry my speedo is in miles an hour not k's" OH he goes and smiled , have a great day he said.

[Redmohawk]

Hmmmmm like the time I was crusing around the back roads of Vic around rushworth on a old shaft drive yam XS1100 and came to a T inersection to see a old holden (prob about a HR) with its ass in the air and its front half way down into a table drain to the left hand side of the T intersection , Little old lady of about 80 not out standing in the middles of the road looking very destressed!

I pull up and see her old man is in the drivers seat still with his foot so hard on the brake lol the car was just on the edge of going to far forward n droppping into the drain (about 8 feet deep lol) Pore old fucker had been sitting there with his leg stomped on the brake from when he missed the bend while chatting the old girl up and not looking where he was going for about an hour lol)

So this mad bike enthusest pulls up an a bike black bike dressed in black leathers pulls his helmet off to reveal a mohawk 3 different colours and sez trust me lol Pop his boot and grab a rope tie it to the bike rack and his tow ball then proceed to do a great mono/burnout and ring the crap out of my clutch pulling him back (as the old bugger isnt game to take his foot off the brake and shift it into reverse haha) almost stacked the bike but got him back enough to give him confadence enough to shift into reverse and back the rest of the was back haha.

I got a kiss and a hug from the old bird gave the old bloke a swig of some cola i'd bought a few K's back up the road and was off. Wonder if they told the grandkids some mad bike rider with a mohawk saved there bacon lol

[Hagarr]

LOL Was the old mans fly undone HAHA.?

[Tony OW31]

1978, Isle of man Southern 100 my dad was racing and his mechanic had a brand new gs1000, anyway the meeting was finished and everyone got smashed, including the mechanic. So me being a little arsehole (no licence yet) got up at 4am when everyone was still passed out, took his keys of the hook in the b&b, disconnected the speedo cable and went for a lap of the TT course.
I had been going there 5 or 6 times a year since I was born so I thought I knew the course pretty well. I calculated that if the racers where going round in 25 mins ish I should be able to do it in 50 mins.
Well 1 1/2 hrs later I get back to the b&b, parked the bike, reconnected the speedo cable and sneeked back in, keys back on the hook, walked in to the dining room and everyone is sitting there eating breakfast. Fuck I'm in the shit now I thought when someone asked where I'd been. Told em I was down at the waterfront with a girl I'd met the night before[:p] and that was it.
Never did find out if they knew[8D]

[Hagarr]

How old were you Tony?

Southern 100 I thought that was Castletown?

Don't mind me I've only been there once.

[RevHead]

id just gotten outta hospital after a bike smash i had in 1982.my girlfriends mum had me sitting on the front verandah,when i asked her weres terri,my ex,,she replied theyve gone to get your motorbike,about 2 minutes later my motor bike rolls into the drive way with my girlfriend sitting on it,,she yells really loud to her girl friends OK,im going to stop the bike now ,hold me up,ONLY THING was there was nobody anywere to be seen the bike and the girlfriend ended up in her mums garden bed ,,i couldnt stop laughing and neally fell outta the wheel chair i was in i was in tears,because the laughing was hurting my ribs funny as seeing the look on her face,when she looked up i was 18

[Booster]

I met the new girlfriends parents for the first time with both legs in plaster fresh out of hospital (after an argument with a bridge on the Yarra bend park )that went down like a lead balloon .....been married to her 21 yrs now

[Tony OW31]

quote:Originally posted by Hagarr

How old were you Tony?

Southern 100 I thought that was Castletown?

Don't mind me I've only been there once.


Not old enough to hold a road licence:),
Yup, you're right, it is held at Castletown on the Billown circuit.

Rode a Smelly Red in 86,13 years after i got back from Nam.Fuckin thing screamed at full thrust.Got out of hospital 3 days later with a script for crabs.

[BANDITROD]

lmao davo

[Hagarr]

quote:I met the new girlfriends parents for the first time with both legs in plaster fresh out of hospital (after an argument with a bridge on the Yarra bend park )that went down like a lead balloon .....been married to her 21 yrs now

Isn't that the truth!

Amazing how we get to meet the outlaws, sometimes I'm sure they must cringe like fuck sometimes and just let the daughters get on with it, oh by the way I have four daughters and they all love me to death LOL.

[Booster]

LOL... Karma came back at me lat week when our eldest informed us she is moving in with the boyfriend , a bit of advise which is usually ignored and a lot of support whatever there decisions is all you can do ;)

[BillyWhizz888]

So there am I, Saturday December 4th 1976 at the yamaha dealer picking up my brand new FS1E (Fizzy to those old enough to remember)
off I went feeling like a million dollars,

I decided to veer off the path directly home and cut across the old golf course where all the local lads used to ride their track bikes ect

so there was this bunch of girlies sitting near a bunker
thinking I was awesome I decided to go over a bunker and show them my stunt skills,

I hit the sand and went over the bars ending up buried in the sand, the new bike revving its guts out and the girlies pissing themselves laughing

trying to get away unseen just made them laugh even harder!

[davio]

ridin my ol duke 860 through melb sporting the new homemade replica SS style kickstart (no electric) ,had a great run through the lights and got to kings way intersection without stopping at all ,.,,awesome
so i finally get a red and split through to the front ,and fell flat on my arse, the new kicker is vertical when retracted and i had put my leg on the peg with the kicker inside my jeans so i couldnt put my foot down
the cars behind were very fuckin amused

[Hagarr]

HAHAHAHAHA!



Well done Davio.

Reminds me of the Brother in Law who tells me the story of heading out of melbourne on his Darmah with clutch cable just pinged the end off and no electric start, fucken amusing when its not happenening to yourself.

[ALBI]

picture this !!
it's 1988 ,ive got me a XT250 yamahhhhaa riding like the true demon i was or i am ! went to the drags at hidden valley (darwin)paid my $12 to get in and had to show off opps i meen ride like a demon and when i get to said first turn ! i run wide and lay her down ,no im not wearing gloves !because a man dont need that shit!!
and procede to rip left hand open and fill with gravel ! "hmmmmm gloves may have prevented this!but im a man"
as the drags had an ambulance there as alway's,i went to the paddock gate and was allowed to go in to get fixed "whoo hoooo first time in pits"ahem i meen yeh its ok for the paddock!
the ambo looks at me and shakes his head and says "mate were you wearing gloves???" anyway he cleans it,dressess it up and sends me on my way ! yes im suposed to go back out the pits !but come on im in the pits so i stay and promptly get kicked out 15 mins later for no pass hmmmf .

[Snaffler]

back in bagdad when you were in dads bag,

i was sitting in a mates servo 1990 odd and we were all laughing and cracking jokes because my mates old man was out pumping petrol
and cracking the shits because the customers just wouldnt stop coming in the servo for fuel.. when he came back in one of his sons had made turkish coffee
for everyone and we were just sitting around sipping coffee when this kid on a pushy flys past cutting threw the servo and the next minute we hear a
truck lock up its brakes, as we look behind us this kid went under the front of the truck hitting every diff and axle on the truck as he came out
the rear of the semi`s trailer.. for sure this kid is dead and we all start running out side.. the kid gets up all bloody but walks off the road
and onto the foot path and sits in the bus shelter and sits there crying... the old man charley rang the meat wagon, they show up and this kid lives
to tell his grand kids how one day he went under a truck and broke nothing and escapes with only minor cuts and bruises..
the bmx the kid was riding was bent around the trucks bull bar and peter had to cut it in half with the hacksaw to get it off..

[RevHead]

quote:Originally posted by Snaffler

back in bagdad when you were in dads bag,

i was sitting in a mates servo 1990 odd and we were all laughing and cracking jokes because my mates old man was out pumping petrol
and cracking the shits because the customers just wouldnt stop coming in the servo for fuel.. when he came back in one of his sons had made turkish coffee
for everyone and we were just sitting around sipping coffee when this kid on a pushy flys past cutting threw the servo and the next minute we hear a
truck lock up its brakes, as we look behind us this kid went under the front of the truck hitting every diff and axle on the truck as he came out
the rear of the semi`s trailer.. for sure this kid is dead and we all start running out side.. the kid gets up all bloody but walks off the road
and onto the foot path and sits in the bus shelter and sits there crying... the old man charley rang the meat wagon, they show up and this kid lives
to tell his grand kids how one day he went under a truck and broke nothing and escapes with only minor cuts and bruises..
the bmx the kid was riding was bent around the trucks bull bar and peter had to cut it in half with the hacksaw to get it off..


hahahahaa lucky bugger

[Hagarr]

Interesting to know if he bcame a sinner or saint!

Lucky boy.

When I crashed my Z9 in to a HQ at about 80-90ks and did 2 somersaults over the bonnet the Zed was all fucked up so as soon as I got out of hospital went straight to the Kwaka dealer and bought a brand new GPZ1100 and went even more stupid and faster. [:p]

HAHAHAHA life can be cruel or kind LOL but ya' gotta get back on the horse.

[Hagarr]

quote:lucky hey,i ran over to the torana hatchback and pulled the driver out his side window and punched the fuck outta him ,,,i loved the early 80,s

Fucken Gold Pete laughed me head off.

Poor bastard was probably in shock and you've ripped him out and brought him back to his senses HAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA!

[RevHead]

ok the best story i have,,i was riding the same poor old hnonda to my girlfriends place from liverpool to mt druitt,this was my 1st off,,u know eastern creeks 1st turn ,well that was part of the horsley drive back then,i was heading north along that road when i came into a 35k left followed by a 35k righ hander,as i approached the right hander there was water n mud all over the left wheel track on the road so i sat to the right hand side of my lane,as i layed my bike over to take the bend a gemini pano van came around the bend on my side of the road,i shit myself,as i quickly stood on my pegs i through my right leg ova my seat to my left side ,the the wing mirror of the gemini hit my handle bars,i went to the left as i fought to keep the bike upright ,with in an instant i was in a small table drain on the side of the road,,,i got my balance,got all composed saw a way out of it, thought great,then in the table drain was really long grass in front of me i gunned the bike hoping to climb back onto the road,,IT WAS A SOLID CONCRETE HUME DRAIN END,i hit it the bike stopped immediatly,i went ova the bars and slammed into the ground hard,knocked the wind outta me,,about 1 min later i get up helmet ova my eyes ,,I SEEa person, started swinging punches,it turned out i flattened the gemini owners girlfriend knocked her out cold ,when i took off me helmet the bloke locked himself in his car wouldnt get out,,fuck i was sore for a month after that 1,,arh memories bahahahha

[Fight_fan]

^Bwaaahahahaha! Thats gold Pete!

[b1kawa]

heres my off (one of them anyway) back in 1882 on my GPz1100B1 not far from home heading west with the sun going down a taxi does a u turn in front of me and I goes straight through his passengers front side window head first and looks him straight in the eyes (an inch or 2 away) and then falls back out not being able to move any part of my body, thought to myself, ya dune it now old chap (hang on I'm only 22) by the time the ambo turns up I was starting to fell some movemnet, all that happened was I put all my musels in to shock. Got the cabbie back 3 times (love revenge). he told the cops he had the sun in his eyes, they just laught at him.....

[Shadowzone]

I got the nickname "crash and burn boy" from the ever awesome Barry Graham in Townsville.

Here goes - I was riding home one sunday night on my mega powerful (and oft thrown down the road) 1982 model GSX250. It happens whilst riding I received a text message and so I proceeded to type a reply whilst riding. Alas I forgot they had newly installed a roundabout on the road I was riding and hadn't yet done the lights. I hit the aforementioned roundabout at aroun 100km/hr blew out both tyres and had a crack at landing my now airborne bike, but FAILED!!!

Fortunately the 2week old paintjob managed to escape injury. No one knows how, but I was substantially less fortunate and off to hospital for skin loss on my ankle (jeans, jacket and sandles) was the rest of the night.

I did however learn to never try something quite so stupid again.

6weeks later heading to an intersection in the wet, a car cut me off I hit the front picks, threw the bike across 4 lanes of traffic bounced it up over the gutter and missed the vehicles in all four lanes AND the pedestrians walking on the footpath.

I also had an altercation with a Volvo riding home from work one afternoon when he locked up his brakes and had no tail or brake lights. The mirror went through my leg down next to the bone and all I got was a lousy 132 stitches to fix the muscle tear and skin. The bike got new bars and mirror, and voila good to go again.

These are a few examples of the reason why I got the nickname.

I sold that bike and 2days after I sold it the owner put himself in intensive care after crashing it, bending a give way sign with his body and snapping a palm tree right after it.

I also had a string on my VTR1000. Me and two pot bikes don't mix.....

[RevHead]

about 1989 a mate of mine jason bought a z1000j kwaka,i had a gt 750 waterbottle,we had just gone to pick up his z1000, and on the home run we stopped at a set of lights which were red,i turned to ask him hows the bike only to see him laying on the ground and the z1000,on top of him i quickly got off my bike and went to help him,,i said wtf happined bloke he said i put my foot down and i just fell over,,some bastard had lost diesel on that part of the road,well youknow slip bang,,had to be there ,lol

[boris]

I've had lots bike crashes but the only one funny was 2 christmasses ago when I was riding my boys cr80 and the throttle jammed and spat me off dislocating my shoulder and ripping my leg with gravel rash, popped my shoulder back in myself, grabbed 2 cans of jackie daniels and went sat in the river and washed all the blood off but fuck my shoulder is fucked now gives me hell.
another time just after I crashed my old gixxer and so had no bike, anyway I just dropped my boy off at a bday party, in my cruiser and was heading home when I went past a T intersection where there was a bike and rider laying on the ground with cars driving around them,so I turned around and went back to assist, when I get there it was a 59 year old lady who washed out the front wheel as it was just drizzling.She had the bike up but because it was a slight hill she couldn't move it anywhere off the road ,meanwhile all these fucking car drivers just kept going around her (I really felt like pulling some of them out of the window How the fuck could noone else stop at least 20 cars went around her)anyway I got it off the road and all she has done is broken the clutch lever so being an auto electrician and loving my electrical tape I taped it as best as I could and got her a little bit of clutch,pointed her in the right direction for home and told her to start it in 2nd and not use the clutch to change gears "oh no you can't do that son, you have to use a clutch at all times " she is all stressed out so I say if I had a helmet then I'd ride it home for her and she could drive my car(60 series cruiser 35" tyres 3" body lift and 2" spring lift and she's about 5' nothing) anyway she tells me to put her helmet on I reckon she got her helmet from the kids section of the bike shop so I didnt have to strap it up anyway I get it home for her and get to chatting with her, turns out her husband of 40 or so years had died suddenly 12 months ago the day before so she has said Fuck it I'm gonna do shit with my life she'd always wanted to ride so her son bought her this suzuki and she'd been for a tandem jump the day before on the anniversary of hubby's death.sorry it's so long but I thought this was about my best biking story.

[eddahenry]

My funnist one was in 96 i think
coming home from a night shift at 5 AM needed some motion lotion,, pulled into the 24 hour servo in Mittagong (southen highlands so like - 6) and wam im sliding on my arss past the operators window i hit the deisel pump< tought well that wasnt so bad ,,, than i got wacked buy 240 Kgs of GSX1100EFE which pinned me against the pump..
So i kick the bike off me with the shits.
Go to pick it up and slip over landing on my arss with the old EFE on my legs..
finally got up and relised what had happened
the dumb arss servo dude had washed down the drive with water ,,,, and its -6 degrees
so he had turned the hole sevo into disney on ice LOL

[RevHead]

quote:Originally posted by eddahenry

My funnist one was in 96 i think
coming home from a night shift at 5 AM needed some motion lotion,, pulled into the 24 hour servo in Mittagong (southen highlands so like - 6) and wam im sliding on my arss past the operators window i hit the deisel pump< tought well that wasnt so bad ,,, than i got wacked buy 240 Kgs of GSX1100EFE which pinned me against the pump..
So i kick the bike off me with the shits.
Go to pick it up and slip over landing on my arss with the old EFE on my legs..
finally got up and relised what had happened
the dumb arss servo dude had washed down the drive with water ,,,, and its -6 degrees
so he had turned the hole sevo into disney on ice LOL
bahahaha ,yeah ive been on ice on a bike it aint fun

[Hagarr]

Coming home one night from a night of biccies and bongs with my mate who never smoked but never minded chowing down on the cookies we "raced" home.
Got on to the local drag strip Oats Street in Kewdale and gassed fuck out of the Z9 my mate on his Duc SS900 we look across at each other eyes watering as it was as cold as fuck and our visors were open.
I gas fuck out of it and it starts to surge and I think Fuck its misfiring must be ringing the bejesus out of it as it only broke down once you hit the stop light on the tacho (Those of you who have ridden Z9's will know what I am talking about)

I precariously look down at the speedo thinking this is going to be fucken fast and with my eyes blurring wind in my helmet whistling I look down to see the speedo flapping at an enormous 40k's an hour

It wasn't breaking down it was chain snapping because I was in top gear at 40k's .

We rolled in the door and laughed our heads off for fucken ages , talk about the funniest ride I've ever experienced.

My mate went to work the next morning and couldn't look any body in the eye until at least 12 o'clock as he reckoned he was still stoned off his face, me I was on the dole and rolled over on the couch and went to sleep.

Ah the things we used to do.!!!

Life was so much simpler back then.

[ALBI]

hey boris id did the same thung but with a peewee 50 my daughter was 2 weeks old and i was celabratin as an aussie should ! albeit with a bucket head full of jimmy beam came around the burm just about to do a knack knack followed by a superman( well that was in my head ) instead i slipped of got draged ( yes by a peewee 50) for about 10mts but also throdle was full open and i didnt want to let go as it was my nieghbours new kids bike,i pulled my way half up left knee draggin (like doohan on a 500gp bike )but alass knee down and hitting a hole in front of driveway = instant stop for me and bike the handle bars pushed left viontely and pushed my left arm into my shoulder socket breaking the ball in half !! fucker hurt even pissed then 3 days later curtains fell of rod in bedroom so wife tried to put up herself so i was helping ( as a loveing and devoted husband i am!) but the rod fell again and my reaction was to throw both arms up and well pain and disloction isnt good with a broken scapulla ball and my t-shirt was raised by 3 inchs due to didlocation ,i ran like a big girl and hit the wall on way out and popped it back in !!! but then broke ball even more DOH!!

[Nudie]

1981 I bought a brand new XT500 ($1900 on road). About 6mths later I left the pub at closing time and doubled (tripled?) a couple of mates home. Dropped the first guy off then got a pizza and went round the other guys place, only to find his mum still up watching telly or something. So we sat in his car out the front punching cones and eating pizza. He crashed out so I finished the pizza and jumped on the XT to head home. I got it into 5th and left it there going around the corner at the bottom of the street, but I couldnt figure out why it was chugging (must be low on fuel or sumfink). Got to the stop sign near my place but didnt put a foot out and landed on my left side with my leg stuck under the bike. Too wasted to get the bike off me, so I turned the fuel off (didnt want it to flood) and turned off the key so the battery wouldnt go flat. But then I thought nobody will see me and i'll get run over. So I turned the light back on and layed there wondering WTF to do. Dunno how long it was, but my brother ended up walking home from his mates place and found me, thank fuck. He helped me get the bike up, got it started and doubled me the rest of the way home.

[Hagarr]

Ahhhhh Nudie I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one to "fess up!

If I died tomorrow I couldn't blame anybody but myself but by Fuck wasn't it fun, just wish it didn't have to end.

[JackTar]

quote:Originally posted by revheadpete

when she looked up i was 18


How old were you before she looked up?

[robmac]

quote:Originally posted by JackTar


quote:Originally posted by revheadpete

when she looked up i was 18


How old were you before she looked up?

Fuck me, you must spend alot of time waiting for Pete to post so you can take the piss :D

[JackTar]

Well considering he makes 8.15 posts a day I don't have to wait that long.

[RevHead]

quote:Originally posted by JackTar

Well considering he makes 8.15 posts a day I don't have to wait that long.
i was 18 fucker.take the piss bahahaha who cares

[JackTar]

Okay.