funniest accidents

[Jockney Rebel]

we used to have a rider that worked with us in southwark called splat[for obvious reasons]
he managed to end up on a no53 bus [old open back type]after he run into it whilst lookin up some tarts skirt[she was sitting on a wall]
so there he was sitting in full get up on the platform of this bus gettin the evil eye from a 16 stone clippie...we tried on several occasions to get him to reconsider his career options but to no avail

[chopaweeza]

The bloke I bough the three GSX750's off did basically the same thing. He was perving and ran up the arse of a bus or van(I can't remember which). On the bad side they had to fuse the ankle and most of the foot bones in order not to have the foot amputated mid shin. When I saw it I was very impressed that he had so many scars and so many bits of meccano on it. Never being able to use your foot again even though it's still there is a bit creepy.

Another was a sink hole had devoloped in the paddock of a 5 acre bloke I used to rent in Schofields. The grass grew over the hole which was a meter round and about 3 meters deep. We had forgetten about it . My housemate bought a mini bike to hoon around the paddock on so a bunch of us got drunk and played silly buggers on this mini bike. While my housemate was on it and no one was watching he just disappeared. I mean he was just gone . No noise no sign. We looked for about 15minutes until I remembered the sink hole. We found him in there asleep(we were very very drunk at the time) and it took 5 drunks the best part of an hour to get him out. It took us 2 weeks to dig the bike out though. And people often wondered how old hedgehog got his name........

[jubuntu]

ive had a close call or two.... summer skirts are dangerous for bike riders.

One of the Cagiva brothers put himself in hospital back when they took over Ducati, doing exactly the same thing.

I live in CBR and there's never any distractions like that here, lucky eh [V]

There was one back home one time, a friend of mine, John, went to pick up his mate one arvo. His mate had this slightly disturbing reflux action, which basically meant that he would get about 2-3 seconds notice, then he'd vomit, quite explosively.
Well they're riding down the road when John hears this noise, turns to look at his mate, and gets the fright of his life as the visor looked like his head had exploded, and misses the corner they were coming up to, down they go.
Worst thing was the bastard had borrowed my helmet to pick up his mate. :(

[Jockney Rebel]

quote:Originally posted by chopaweeza

The bloke I bough the three GSX750's off did basically the same thing. He was perving and ran up the arse of a bus or van(I can't remember which). On the bad side they had to fuse the ankle and most of the foot bones in order not to have the foot amputated mid shin. When I saw it I was very impressed that he had so many scars and so many bits of meccano on it. Never being able to use your foot again even though it's still there is a bit creepy.

Another was a sink hole had devoloped in the paddock of a 5 acre bloke I used to rent in Schofields. The grass grew over the hole which was a meter round and about 3 meters deep. We had forgetten about it . My housemate bought a mini bike to hoon around the paddock on so a bunch of us got drunk and played silly buggers on this mini bike. While my housemate was on it and no one was watching he just disappeared. I mean he was just gone . No noise no sign. We looked for about 15minutes until I remembered the sink hole. We found him in there asleep(we were very very drunk at the time) and it took 5 drunks the best part of an hour to get him out. It took us 2 weeks to dig the bike out though. And people often wondered how old hedgehog got his name........
ah the old "hole in the ground ploy eh?'amazing what ppl will do to get out of paying for their round ....:D

[Jockney Rebel]

quote:Originally posted by chalk10

There was one back home one time, a friend of mine, John, went to pick up his mate one arvo. His mate had this slightly disturbing reflux action, which basically meant that he would get about 2-3 seconds notice, then he'd vomit, quite explosively.
Well they're riding down the road when John hears this noise, turns to look at his mate, and gets the fright of his life as the visor looked like his head had exploded, and misses the corner they were coming up to, down they go.
Worst thing was the bastard had borrowed my helmet to pick up his mate. :(
lmfao:D:D....i have the dubious honour of falling off a honda express moped tryin to do a wheelie.....in full leathers...

[Jockney Rebel]

quote:Originally posted by jubuntu

ive had a close call or two.... summer skirts are dangerous for bike riders.
aint they just ...another time Splat [he used to have an old T120] broke his ankle tryin to kickstart it whilst under the infulence of illicit substances:)

[chopaweeza]

Back in the late 80's when the new Harley Soft Tails came out there was a nobhead at the Revesby Roundhouse with one. After all the look at my new bike crowd backed off he rode off into the carpark to show off how well the bike accelerated and as he came to the point were he had to turn or hit a new Merc he swung the bike left and cartwheeled it into it anyway. The nobhead forgot to put his sidestand up and the sudden lefthander made it dig in. Had about 220kms on the clock and was a rightoff. Luckily for him the ambos took him away before the huge Greek bloke that owned the Merc came back. The lesson here is "Just Say No To Concho's"

[papa smurf]

I had a short skirt & low top put me into the tray of a hq ute about 20 years ago.
The poor bloke driving the ute shit himself & the chick just stood there pissing herself laughing..........BITCH.[}:)]
Nothing broken but fuckin embarrasing.[:I]

[loosebruce]

"I live in CBR and there's never any distractions like that here"
Lots of eye candy in Civc mate

[Jockney Rebel]

talikin of the fairer? sex ... heard about the new barbie doll ? its called divorce barbie comes with kens house and car....

You working in Civic these days Bruce? Or you there for the 'love an ethnic' festival? It does improve for that admittedly.

I guess I must have been spoilt by livin' in St Kilda, Sunday at the Espy front bar, and CBR gets very dull in comparison. Some of the Melbournites will know what I mean.[:p]

[Rocket]

quote:Originally posted by frankenbiker

talikin of the fairer? sex ... heard about the new barbie doll ? its called divorce barbie comes with kens house and car....


Or the Abo Barbie doll.
You pull the string in it's back and it stinks for five minutes.

[Rocket]

A guy I worked with in the early 90's in kalgoorlie had a GTR1000 Kawasaki.
when he started it on the choke, after about ten seconds it'd rev to about 4000rpm and he'd leave it there till he was ready to take off...usually sideways :)
One morning, getting ready to go to work, he started it up and put his lunch box on the seat while gearing up. Motor hits 4000, lunch box vibrates off the seat and hits the gear lever.
1st gear selected and bike the lurches into side of the house.
This accident damaged his front brake lines or something, so he pulled the front brakes off till he could afford to fix them.

Not long after, he crashes and slides into a curb because he had no front brakes and had to avoid a car.
This accident puts a hole in his fuel tank.
So he shoves a rag in the hole till he can afford to get it fixed.

Not long after....
I'm standing outside the office and he barrels into the carpark and skids to a halt next to a tap, dives off and starts rinsing his face off.
Yep, the rag came out and he got a face full of petrol at 60ks.

Then he takes it to a panel beater who is using the oxy to weld the hole up.
He must have bumped the tank because the fuel lid flipped closed and sealed the tank.
Shortly after, an almighty BOOOONG !! the pressure built up inside form the heat and the tank has just increased it's own capacity by a couple of litres.
They had to take to the underside of it with a mallet so it would fit back over the frame spine !!

He sold it not long after that [V]

[Gix11]

I think the most stupid one I had was when I owned the Fireblade and an old Z650. After a long ride all morning on the blade I got home and swapped to the z650 to go shopping down the local Asda. While I was in there, as predicatable English weather does, it started to drizzle. I came out and jumped back on the bike with these now greasy roads and forgot which bike I was on, so leaned it into a mini roundabout a little too much. The front wheel let go and I slid sideways through the entrance of a servo between two petrol pumps and ended up with the window cleaning bucket of water, a loaf of bread and some shampoo all over me. In that moment of "What a bell end, get out of here" I picked the bike up and rode off. Only to see my flat mate walking to the shops who flagged me down and was wondering why i had modified my bike so that the right handle grip faced almost skyward! I hadn't even noticed. That doesn't say much about the Z's handling does it?

[loosebruce]

'love an ethnic' festival? sounds interesting Chalk.
Currently at Phillip.
Silliest one I've had was when my mate Kev, bought a honda 90 stepthru as a non runner.
We were at his place and his perpetually stoned flatmate Pete, says "lets put some petrol in and give her a tow".
Found a bit of rope pretty long, tied onto the back of my old XR200,towed it along the track that ran up into the bush at the back.
No go, towed it back to the house, pulled up.looked around to see Pete
fly past,laughing like a maniac, intermittent bursts of full throttle,not backing off,rope still attatched .
Hit the end hard enough to flip me and my bike end over.
I assume Pete got pretty airborne over the front of the steppy.
By the time i got up he was running around like a kid at christmas,It goes!
You have to admire that level of commitment.

quote:Originally posted by loosebruce

'love an ethnic' festival? sounds interesting Chalk.


Don't get too excited mate, it's just the multicultural festival.

Why are all the 2nd rate lefty losers in to 2nd rate cultures?

Not that I would say such a thing of course :D

[Jockney Rebel]

lmfao......me bruv all 19 stone of him was crossin a set of lights at the top of our road in Woolwich {beruit] SE london and a Montego shot across in front of him so he hits the car straight in the drivers door bends the door so bad the guy cant get out ,all this on an old GT380, me bruv gets up pulls the guy out of his window far enuf to chin him picks tha old suzy up and rides off wobblin up the road..... i pissed me self

:D

I remember taking a worked Honda 750 for a test ride from Bryan Scobie M'cycles (?) in Hamilton NZ, as a teenager, quite pissed at the time, but they let me have it. On me way back to the shop, open it up going up hill along Victoria St, lifted over the crest just as a car pulled out from a side road. Wrote off the car, and destroyed the H@dna (front wheel through the cases and all). I went over the bonnet and slid on me ass for a ways, looked up as this guy came racing out of a shop to check on me, to realise that he was the guy who gave me the bike. Handed back his helmet and told him I wasn't interested.
The ambulance turned up before the cops, and the ambo gave me and the geriatric driver the once over, called us both fuckwits for riding/driving drunk, then told us to get the fuck out of there before plod arrived.
I've had some luck in my time.
:D

[Jockney Rebel]

quote:Originally posted by chalk10

:D

I remember taking a worked Honda 750 for a test ride from Bryan Scobie M'cycles (?) in Hamilton NZ, as a teenager, quite pissed at the time, but they let me have it. On me way back to the shop, open it up going up hill along Victoria St, lifted over the crest just as a car pulled out from a side road. Wrote off the car, and destroyed the H@dna (front wheel through the cases and all). I went over the bonnet and slid on me ass for a ways, looked up as this guy came racing out of a shop to check on me, to realise that he was the guy who gave me the bike. Handed back his helmet and told him I wasn't interested.
The ambulance turned up before the cops, and the ambo gave me and the geriatric driver the once over, called us both fuckwits for riding/driving drunk, then told us to get the fuck out of there before plod arrived.
I've had some luck in my time.
:D
you lucky lucky bastard:D

[hooligan]

Just after i first registered the 7/11, I was riding through the city past a mini bus full of people, and thought it'd be as good a time as any to play silly buggers. On the tank, right leg over the bars, let go of the left bar, swing my left leg over...
I forgot I'd but a bar end mirror on for rego. Kick the left bar, bounce into the side of the mini bus, wobble/swerve/crash.
Almost get run over by the mini bus, then realize it's a Police citizens youth club bus, being driven by a cop.
Oops.

I spent and afternoon out at the Gundaroo pub, all the way through to closing time. Eventually they helped me out onto my bike, along with a couple of bottles of very fine Port, and off I went. As can be expected I pit the bike down at high speed (200+) while passing through Sutton. Some hippies helped me disentangle myself, then shook their heads as I took a few swigs from one of the bottles, strightened a couple of things on the bike, climbed on and rode off.
I'm cruising down Northbourne Ave at about 120 when I get pulled over (it was a 70 zone). The cops take a look at me covered in dirt, then at the bike also covered in dirt with indicators hanging by their wires etc. I explain that I've had an accident and was on my way to the hospital, so they told me to slow down, got in their car and drove off.
2 sets of lights later, same thing again, only this time they gave me an escort to the hospital. I was shitting myself that they were going to come in and check on me. But being AFP they were too stupid and lazy to get out of their car, and drove off as I was getting off the bike.
I waited till they were out of sight and rode the bike down to the nurses home, which was where I lived at the time :D
My chest was completely black from the top of my shoulders to below my rib cage, and I hurt for days. Aaaah well you get that.

The scariest accident I was ever in was down the coast one day. I was riding a GS1100GK, listening to the stereo, stoned as a mullet. The traffic was heavy, so heavy even I was staying in line. We're all heading North along a faitly narrow road coming up to a single lane bridge when this tit in a Magna goes tearing past. As I'm coming up to the bridge the Magna realises that there's a car coming straight at him and pulls into the line of traffic, only he forgets about the trailer he's towing, and takes out one of the cars, about 5 cars ahead of me. The whole line of cars hits the anchors. I'm hitting the anchors so I don't run into the car in front of me, feathering them so the car behind me doesn't run me over, and panicking about hitting the side of the bridge and going for a long drop. And it seemed to go on forever before I stop, just as the car behind me gives me a tap and pushes me up the side of the car in front. The crash bars wedged between the front car and the side of the bridge, and my sphincter finally closes completely.
All I got was some scrapes on the crash bar, but I was about the 3rd person to snot the driver of the Magna, and not the last. Then we got out of there before the cops turned up and arrested us for assault, and there were more than enough witness' to the accident.
He even had his partner and 2 young kids in the car. There are some brain dead fuckwits out there. And the car he hit was trashed, the trailer had twisted and flipped up onto the bonnet of it, and the car behind had rear ended him at speed.

I guess I've been very damned lucky eh.