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Thread: Why I'm divorced

  1. #1
    Bloke with a smaller stick
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Nowra, NSW, Aust.
    Posts
    4,720

    Why I'm divorced

    Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..
    I went downstairs for breakfast
    hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
    'Happy Birthday!',
    and possibly have a small present for me.
    As it turned out,
    she barely said good morning,
    let alone
    ' Happy Birthday.'
    I thought....
    Well, that's marriage for you,
    but the kids....
    They will remember.
    My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
    and didn't say a word..
    So when I left for the office,
    I felt pretty low
    and somewhat despondent.
    As I walked into my office,
    my secretary Jane said,
    'Good Morning Boss,
    and by the way
    Happy Birthday ! '
    It felt a little better
    that at least someone had remembered.
    I worked until one o'clock ,
    when Jane knocked on my door
    and said, 'You know,
    It's such a beautiful day outside,
    and it is your Birthday,
    what do you say we go out to lunch,
    just you and me..'
    I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
    that's the greatest thing
    I've heard all day.
    Let's go !'
    We went to lunch.
    But we didn't go
    where we normally would go.
    She chose instead at a quiet bistro
    with a private table.
    We had two martinis each
    and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
    On the way back to the office,
    Jane said, 'You know,
    It's such a beautiful day...
    We don't need to go straight back to the office,
    Do We ?'
    I responded,
    'I guess not.
    What do you have in mind ?'
    She said,
    'Let's drop by my apartment,
    it's just around the corner..'
    After arriving at her apartment,
    Jane turned to me and said,

    ' Boss, if you don't mind,
    I'm going to step into the bedroom
    for just a moment.
    I'll be right back.'
    'Ok.' I nervously replied.
    She went into the bedroom and,
    after a couple of minutes,
    she came out
    carrying a huge birthday cake ...
    Followed
    by my wife,
    my kids,
    and dozens of my friends
    and co-workers,
    all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

    And I just sat there...

    On the couch...

    Naked.
    Si vis pacem, para bellum


  2. #2

  3. #3
    Pizza delivery boy/girl
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Melton, vic, Australia.
    Posts
    79
    hahahahahaha loved it

  4. #4
    Weekend Warrior
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Bulahdelah, NSW, Australia.
    Posts
    245
    PMSL


  5. #5
    ASF Standard Full Member oldskool's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    SEAFORDONIA HIPPY KILL TEAM
    Posts
    4,022
    Very good Blowie.
    "I call it a Camberwell carrot as I invented it in Camberwell and it looks alot like a carrot"

  6. #6
    RevHead
    Guest
    clever

  7. #7
    Weekend Warrior
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Perth, WA, Australia.
    Posts
    141
    awsome

  8. #8
    ASF Standard Full Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Ipswich, qld, Australia.
    Posts
    344
    like it like it alot
    without pain you dont know your alive

  9. #9
    Aussie Streetfighter Hooligan
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    gunnedah nsw
    Posts
    8,871
    ...lmfao ..and ewww what an image

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