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Thread: 'ASYLUM SEEKER..............Come on down'

  1. #1
    ASF Premium Full Member
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    Aug 2008
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    'ASYLUM SEEKER..............Come on down'

    Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of
    'ASYLUM'.
    Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
    HIJACK AN AIRLINER
    and win
    A COUNCIL HOUSE!
    We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
    The British Taxpayer.
    And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British Passport, and you only need one word of English:
    'ASYLUM'
    Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
    accosting drivers at traffic lights.
    This competition is open to everyone
    buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our
    partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

    No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable.
    All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:
    'ASYLUM'
    A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gatewa y at Stansted where 20 local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury
    £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.
    They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain.
    Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.

    If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience
    Just apply for legal aid.
    Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.
    It won't cost you a penny.
    It could change your life forever .
    So play today.

    Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
    activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
    bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...
    COME ON DOWN!

    Get along to the airport!
    Get along to the lorry park!
    Get along to the ferry terminal!
    Don't stop in Germany or France !
    Go straight to Britain
    And you are:
    GUARANTEED
    to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth.
    Everyone's a winner, when they play
    'ASYLUM'

  2. #2
    Aussie Streetfighter Hooligan
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    gunnedah nsw
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    [nb not open to employees and their families or friends or relationa or indeed anyone whos indigenous to the United Kingdom]

  3. #3
    Bloke with a smaller stick Weaselman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    The 80's
    Posts
    5,824
    what about the polish labourers

  4. #4
    Power Hungry, Law Disregarder
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    bairnsdale, vic, Australia.
    Posts
    640
    mate its illegal to polish ur labourers ,at best u can give them a light buff

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