The end is nigh

[Snaffler]

im in the west side and was in the massage chair at the time and i just thought it power surged and went off like a fizzing wasp

[latheboy]

It would have been the best time ever to be having a wank.

[BANDITROD]

yes it would have been lol

[Nudie]

You'd have got a pat on the back if you were ploughing the missus at the time

[Deano]

A major earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter scale hit Moe in the evening of Tuesday
with its epicentre in the Moe Centre Link Office.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".

The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately $3000.00 worth of damage.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were at a loss wondering how they were going to fill in their Thursday morning now that their Centrelink building was reduced to rubble and at the same time realizing had it struck Thursday morning at least half the adult population would have been wiped out.
The Moe Mayor reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact
that something interesting had happened in Moe, he added.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into
my room crying. My youngest two, Kaeleb and Storm, slept through it all."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards, also Jewellery and Bone China from Big W.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
baseball caps,
tracksuits,
singlets (blue and white),
white sports socks,
reebok boots,
any other items usually sold in Go Lo or The Reject Shop.
food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs urgently needed include:
Microwave meals,
Baked beans,
Ice cream,
Chips,
Diet Coke, oh what the hell, any Coke .

Donations of $15.00 will be taken to buy a packet of Winny Blue 25's and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

-----------------

**Breaking News**
Moe Uniting Church has cancelled their local "Nativity Display" due to their inability to find three wise men or a virgin.

Please don't forward this to anyone in Moe - oh what the, f*#$ , they won't be able to read it anyway!

[BANDITROD]

hahahahahahaha

[Bob]

Lol

[stiffsimon]

Pissed meself mate. Very funny

[Redmohawk]

When the zombies come GD has the answer 20mm is king dont leave home without it !